Forged in Flames

New Boy New Friends

"I just think he's really...attractive." She said warmly to Dian as she openly discussed things with her.

"I'll be right back," Dian said, sliding down towards the boy. He gestured for her to come down and meet them after Dian had leaned over and whispered something in his ear. He resumed his conversation with the girl across from him, a girl who came to be known as Amanda.

Weeks past, she opened up, she told him her real name, not the one she wished she had. Something comforted her, hearing her real name from his lips. They'd wrestle each other to the floor, he'd pin her to the wall. There was a point where his face had gotten so close she

could just barely lean in and their lips would meet. She bit her lip and kept her head back, being as awkward as she was she'd probably miss anyway, even if kissing him wasn't her first rodeo. An applause was heard from underneath the blue and orange gym gazebo. She wasn't sure why they were cheering, or who they were cheering at. She swallowed hard and pulled away from Daniel's grasp. He sighed, "What's wrong?" All she did was shake her head, pick up her things and leave. He didn't see her again for another few days.

"No more of this." She said to herself, looking in the bathroom mirror when she had gotten home. She poked her breasts and frowned, her wide hips, her chubby stomach. She decided to quit eating, what she did eat she vomited. But the vomiting only lasted a week, she couldn't take the abdominal pains in caused.She spent a month eating just enough to keep herself going. She was becoming frail, she slurred when she spoke, all she wanted to do was sleep. Nobody wanted anything to do with her at school, nobody except her newfound pack, Daniel, Dian, and Amanda. Her mother confronted her, forced her to sit at the table and eat, forced her to wait at least half an hour after eating to go to the bathroom.

The scent of food was sickening, the four forkfuls she had taken made her stomach lurch. She gagged and covered her mouth. "Mhmh." She noised, covering her mouth and dropping her fork onto the plate of salmon and rice. Her mother crossed her arms and shook her head.

She was eating again but reluctantly. She looked in the mirror, she felt out of place, always unhappy with herself. By the end of her freshman year, she vowed to change. Her newfound boyfriend there to guide her and keep her emotions stable.

"Daniel I feel useless, I feel like I'm just a burden to everyone, especially to you. You know you can just leave me whenever..." She told him on the phone as she sat on a BMX jump in her backyard.

"Sure." He started, "But you're my burden and I like you, I know I could leave anytime, but I choose not to. If I want to go, I'll tell you."

She smiled, this boy did wonders to keep her emotions just high enough to smile occasionally. She took out her depression in a more constructive manner, exercise. She went on mile runs over the summer, half an hour of something to get her heart rate up whenever she could fit it in. She was feeling just a bit better about herself.