Forged in Flames

Separation Anxiety

Separation was no couples strong suit, being so, the few days they had to spend apart felt like an eternity. Dylan was having a rough day that Wednesday. It started with Dallas, having made a new instagram account, tried to follow him. Then tried to follow Summer. They both declined the request from @teenpan17, who, so idiotically, had his number, address and email posted publicly on his profile. This was a great way to start the day. He and Summer blocked Dallas without hesitation and went on with their day. Summer was running errands, Dylan wasn't about to bug her with everything, but his day wasn't winding up right. In literature, homophobic remarks were made right behind him, he pretended not to care. In homeroom, a girl called him by his dead name and proceeded to flash an old photo of him before he transitioned. In his college course, his teacher who he had informed he was transgender, attempted to force him into the girls costumes. Not only did he feel like he'd never be a true man, all these trials and errors made him feel like he was undeserving of Summer's love. He was feeling hopeless, worthless. He wanted to flick the rubber bracelets on his wrist to swell his skin, and take a razor to the welt. He dreamed it, he didn't do it. To his mother, his family, he was fine, but deep down he didn't really want to be awake any more today. He went home and did his chores as he needed to. He took care of his insect colony and all of his pets. He had a decent size mealworm farm he worked hard on, two leopard geckos, a rose hair tarantula, and his feeder reptiles; an anole and a house gecko. One of the anoles had been fed to the spider, there were two of them, now only one remained.

As the day wound down, he began slipping further into his depression, hopelessness and disinterest in life itself made him want to curl into a ball and lose track of time. He waited for Summer to come back, she was showering, taking care of rinsing out her hair dye. The bright red had faded severely, she had to have it re done. When she came back, he didn't want to unload on her but the words flowed from his fingers because somehow the conversation was left open for anything. He wanted to go to bed, he was so sleepy, but his thoughts provoked him to stay awake much later than intended. They texted back and forth.

What im going through right now, is ever-repeating along with me feeling like i'll never be a real man, he texted her, after she had assured him that it was okay for him to talk about what was bothering him. She responded quickly.

You will baby, you will, we will work on making you the man you wanna be. There must be a reason, so talk to me love. You won't scare me away love. Dylan told her about what had happened that day, at high school, at college, what had put him down so hard today. As always she had the perfect response and her words on this subject eased the part of his conscience that focused on this specific tormenting topic.

Well baby, we live in a world where people aren't comfortable with themselves so they make life a living hell for everyone else. Once you get out of school and we move, everyone will know you as he. As Dylan. If you choose to tell others than so be it, but, the life we create together, nobody will be calling you a she; because, you are not a she. You are a man and need to be respected as one <3

I wish i was born a boy, no i'd never choose to tell anyone im trans. I hate telling people i'm a self made man...

Dylan was so tired, formulating the english language was a drag.

Thank you for being with me love. I'll be okay i swear. Goodnight, sweet dreams, im so tired.

Of course love, best decision i ever made <3 Goodnight, sweet dreams.

Before he turned in for the night, he decided to stalk teenpan17 again, because, why not. In the few seconds he took to unblock his ex-fiancee, Dallas had sent another follower request his way. It was as if Dallas was waiting on Dylan to unblock him all day, just so he could try and follow him again. Dylan screenshotted the request and sent it to Summer. Who, was certainly not happy with the fact that Dallas would not let up. Summer sending her prison-bound friend there seemed more and more appealing of an idea with every little step Dallas took, to try and get Dylan's attention again. He plugged his phone into the charger in the living room and turned in for the night. He curled into his blankets and fell into a non-impressionable dream state.