Chapter 36 - Why Am I Not Fighting It?

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45 minutes earlier

Mikasa POV

I see Eren throw the smoke bombs and that's the queue for us to move, I can't help but still look in his direction as he runs to take fire. Please...don't die Eren. Jean and Reiner have Bertolt up and Annie and I are covering them from the gunfire behind us. There's only a few people, which means that Eren must have gotten the rest of them on him. Since we're continuously moving I'm not able to hit any of them and so does Annie. They're following us from a distance and not being able to shoot them is hurting us in the long run, we're only a two blocks from the cemetery and we haven't lost them yet. Jean and Reiner are getting slower and slower, the Eldians aren't to far from us and it's not helping that we can't move faster. Annie goes behind something and takes two of them out, leaving 4 Eldians to fight against. By the time we make it to the cemetery the 4 of them take cover and try nailing us with shots. Reiner sits Bertolt down and behind one of the buildings with Jean and helps me and Annie shoot his former teammates he grabs a pistols from the duffle bag and it's a solid shootout. This lasts for about 20 minutes, we run extremely low on ammo towards the end but neither side has taken a hit. Until I pull out my snub nosed revolver and hit two Eldians straight in the head, leaving only 2 but all I see is 1 more left then...where's the other one? I look behind me and I see two shadows tussling it out. Reiner catches it too and runs back there. Annie shoots the man in the leg revealing himself to which I make my way over to him laying on the floor holding his leg in agonizing pain, I aim my pistol at his head then pull the trigger. So this is what it means to kill, doesn't faze me one bit. Me and Annie make our way over to Jean and Reiner when we see a boy about our a age holding a gun to Jeans head. Reiners tying to tell him to lower it but I'm not taking any chances so I aim mine.
"Chick you better lower your gun or I'm gonna shoot the hell out of Poneyboy."
"Lower yours and you can walk away from this."
I'm lying through my teeth, the moment he lowers the weapon I'm shooting him in the head. I don't know what Reiners trying to do but he's getting close to the guy.
"Look you don't want to do this I know you don't, just let him go and we can all walk away."
The guy started budging, I lowered my gun for a second so he could but when let Jean go he pulled his gun back up and aimed it at me. Reiner grab him and pulled him down but he still fired his gun, it grazed my cheek. It hurt a lot but I'll be fine, when Reiner had him on the ground he pulled his gun aiming it at his head and actually pulled the trigger. He gets up from the ground and puts the gun in the back of his belt, his flannel was splattered with the blood of that kid. Everyone is okay, Annie checks my cheek and says that there will be a scar which I'm not surprised to hear. It's been about 35 minutes and Erens not in sight, but Bertolt is getting worse and he needs to see medical attention ASAP. Jean and Reiner says that we need to go to the hospital but we need to wait for Eren.
"So you're saying we just forget about Eren?
"No but the objective was to get to safety, Bertolt needs to get to the hospital and we don't have much time before his wound gets infected."
I'm not okay with leaving Eren back there fighting them all off, but Annie tries to get a solution from all of this.
"Okay I'll go back and help him, you three get Bertolt to the hospital."
"I need to see him."
"Mikasa you need to get that cut checked out just incase you may need stitches. I'll make sure he's okay."
I nod my head but I still need to see if he's okay, I pull my scarf up above my nose holding back and hiding my frustration. It's still so soft, I hope he's okay. Even if he gets by them I feel like they're still gonna be chasing after him. I tell Annie that she better save him, she nods her head and heads back to the area we just left from. I help Reiner get Bertolt up and Jean follows behind us, once we get to the hospital we get Bertolt situated and also myself with this scar. Me, Jean, and Reiner sat in the waiting room while we waited for Bertolts results. Jean wanted to talk to me in private for a minute.
"What's up Jean?"
"Mikasa....I still like you...a lot and when Eren does this to you it kills me. It physically kills me seeing you like this."
"Jean I need you to forget you ever said that to me right now because if Eren heard you say that he'd want to hurt you."
"I don't care, he's one of my closest friends and that's what hurts the most. I can't hurt my best friend but he goes off and tries getting himself killed he should be right here not me."
Why is he telling me this? Why is he trying to force this on me now when Erens possibly dead.
"Jean, Eren maybe dead. My mind is going through and emotional roller coaster and you telling me this now is the worst thing you can do."
"Am I wrong? When I say that him doing this to you is the worst thing he can do?"
"No but I know he'll be okay."
"Do you? I should have been the one back there not him but maybe this was a blessing."
Then Jean holds me and tries going for a kiss, why am I not pushing him or trying to hit him. He's next to my lips and I'm not fighting it when the door opens and I see....Eren.

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