A New Beginning (ErenxMikasa) Book 1 (Completed)

Chapter 57 - Their Graves

Erens POV

A week has passed since the death of Armin, I've been to Bertolts, Armins and Marcos funerals all in one week and it's been an emotional roller coaster. I still feel the guilt consuming my intestines making it feel like I'm empty inside. I saw all their families crying at the sight of their coffins, the only one that wasn't open was Bertolts and Armins. I wouldn't want to see my best friend in a coffin anyways it's to much to handle. Everyone is still in bad shape especially Sasha, she's been in the hospital for a while. Levi and Mikasa were spotted at the funeral, they tried to talk to me but I reluctantly ignored them both. Then Armins parents came to me and pulled me aside.
"Eren they told us the story about the robbers....it was good that he saw you before he left this world. He talked so highly of you and definitely cared for you."
"He was my brother.... I..I'm sorry."
I say walking away from them streaming tears down my face, I can't hold it anymore it's too much. I just want my best friend back, I'd give anything to see him one last time and tell him I'm sorry. When the funeral was coming to an end, I was asked to give a speech on Armins behalf. With each step I took I felt my stomach churning, then I finally stood up on the stand and look around the area seeing all the people that cared for Armin just as much as I did.
"Hello ladies and gentlemen, we're here to give our blessing to Armin Arlert. He was my best friend for as long as I could remember, we were the geeks of high school. No one wanted to be around us, no one wanted to interact with us. Up until junior year is when we really came out of our shell and made some very important friends. Those friends are also here today to say their goodbyes to Armin...but me....I don't know if I'll ever be able to say goodbye. Me and him had our little disputes but when it came down to it Armin always stayed true to who he was. He wasn't afraid to speak his mind and he always and when I mean always, I mean always, did the right thing. He was a good person something that we don't see nowadays. I...I don't know where I'd be without his guidance, I won't ever forget him. But now it's time to let him rest and I think this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do." Then we finally put his coffin down. When everyone left the funeral I stayed sitting on the ground at his grave, not moving a muscle...just sitting there staring at the name engraved into the tombstone. I wish we could go back to the days where we were losers...Then he wouldn't be gone.

I wake up the next day and it's snowing, I put the jacket I feel I should burn on. It holds the dammed memories of my comrades dying in front of me, I throw on my pants and combat boots then go straight for the place I feel like I'd spend most of my days at. When I make it to the grave yard I have flowers in my hands and I go straight for his grave, I lay my flowers down on the ground and stand there for a few hours staying in my thoughts. I pull out my phone and see multiple missed calls and messages from Mikasa, she wants to make sure I'm okay. I call her back still facing towards the grave, when she picks up she's concerned.
"You're at his grave again aren't you?"
"....yeah..."
"Do I need to come there?"
"No it's fine I just want to be alone."
"Okay but I'm gonna stay on the phone just incase you need to talk."
"Okay..."
Then a cough comes from behind me, I turn and...I see Zeke standing before me. My phone slowly drops out of my hand and into the snow, I can hear Mikasa asking what happened but I ignore it and continue looking straight at him. I don't know what the feeling is in my stomach is but it's not good.
"Eren....it's over, this is where it ends. Fits the scenery right? A death at the tombstone of your best friend....don't worry it'll be over quick."
"You're right....this is where it would best be for me to die, just....hurry up and end it."
He slowly walks to me with a knife in his hand, he gets over to me and grabs me by the throat and pushes me against the wall.
"Actually, Ima take my time."
I don't know what it is but...I don't want to fight anymore. There's nothing to live for when all I do is bring death to the people I care about....but wait...there was always a light that tried to save me. That light is Mikasa...I have to live for her...no matter the cost, I won't die here.

Zeke then slashes my right arm with the knife when I finally come to grips with reality. I get from the ground and go into a fighting stance, that amuses Zeke.
"Hahahaha finally deciding to live now huh?"
"I made a promise to kill you, I'm gonna fulfill it now!"
He comes charging with the knife and jabs multiple times, I dodge each attack then get my hand around the knife and kick him in the shin. He falls to floor holding his shin and whining, I hold the knife in my hands and grab him by the hair and slam his face into the concrete side walk. I continue slamming and slamming and slamming until blood was covered everywhere. He was bleeding uncontrollably and that was my time to finally end it, I held the knife to his neck as he pleaded for his life.
"P-please I'm sorry, I don't want to die!"
"You thought about that when you killed my friends huh!?! Do you even know any of their names? They were MARCO, OLUO, GUNTHER, ELD, BERTOLT, AND ARMIN!"
I scream at him as he chokes on his blood and spitting it all over the snow, this is it...I'm ending it...IM ENDING IT NOW! I pull the knife closer to his neck and am about to get ready to slice it when someone is spotted from the side of me.
"Eren, don't do it."
That voice is...it's Levi's. He steps from the shadows and walks over to me and the half dead Zeke.
"What?"
"You don't have to become a monster, once you kill him....there's no turning back."
"I don't care, he killed my best friend."
"I can't let you."
I look at him confused and angry, he can't let me?
"You better give me a good fucking reason on why?"
"You're to far gone Eren, when your opponent is scared pleading for you to not kill him...don't you have any bit of humanity left in you to not do so?"
"....no...not for him."
"Mikasa wouldn't want you to do this."
"It doesn't matter what she wants right now....I'm deciding this for myself."
"I won't let you kill him."
"Then you're gonna have to kill me."
Levi pulls out a knife from his pocket and I let go off Zeke's hair, he drops to the floor and I get a better grip of my knife. Me and Levi stare at one another then run straight at each other full force not stopping.