A New Beginning (ErenxMikasa) Book 1 (Completed)

Chapter 47 - I Dont Know What I Want

Erens POV

I look up and see that the person is...Connie?
"Connie?"
"What? No weirdo it's me Krista."
She stood over the light so it kinda looked weird...... I don't know.
"Oh hey umm what about Reiner?"
"He's just hanging back with Annie and Bertolt when the music came on he said he didn't want to dance to a slow song, so I found you."
"Don't you think it'd be kinda weird seeing your date just stare at us dancing?"
"Nope, come on."
She says pulling me up from the stairs and dragging me from the back stage to the gymnasium. The song that's playing is a guaranteed slow one, she pulls me into the crowd of people we begin to dance. I'm a little fond of the slow dance so I can understand where to go when needed. Krista has her hands around my neck and mine are around her waist, I see Mikasa and Jean dancing from a far. If her and him are having a good time....what's stopping me from having one too?
While dancing Krista starts getting a bit nervous and pulls away from eye contact.
"Hey, you okay?"
"Yeah it's just...I kinda get lost in your eyes."
I laugh at her statement and she starts to blush.
"Why are you laughing?"
" 'Cause that's kinda a corny line."
Her facial expression says it all and I start laughing a bit more. She giggles a bit and then out of no where she starts leaning into me to try and kiss me. I thought about going for it but then I come back to reality and realize me doing this would be a mistake. I pull back and question her.
"Krista, what are you doing?"
"....I just....I can't help it anymore Eren, I want  to be with you not Reiner and it's killing me every second I'm not."
Damnit why is this happening and here of all places, I look at her sad like knowing that my mind has been made up and I got to decline this. It's for the best even if Krista resents me for it.
"Krista... we can't do this. I'm sorry but I can't, I don't want to lose anymore people."
"Don't lie to me Eren, this is really about her isn't it? You can't let her go."
There's a good bit of silence and that's when she gets her answer.
"...I've should have never grown feelings for you..."
She lets go of me and with tears in her eyes she walks away from the dance floor. Way to go jaeger you fucked it up....no, I can't do this to another girl again. I follow behind her as she leaves the gymnasium, I finally stop her and she doesn't seem happy about it.
"What do you wa-"
I decide to make a move and kiss her, it's nothing extreme but it gets the point across. When we break apart from the kiss, she seems confused.
"I thought you wanted Mikasa?"
"To be completely honest....I have no clue what I want anymore. But I couldn't let you walk away and get upset with me it just wouldn't settle well with me."
She tries to go for another kiss but I stop her.
"I...I need you to go back with Reiner."
"What why?"
"Because he's your date and he deserves you not me."
"What do you mean?"
"I can't even decide who I want to be with anymore and that's a problem. I need to process this all and think about it."
Before I knew it pixis was calling me back on stage and I had to go. Me and Krista went back into the gymnasium and I go back stage that's when I realize what the hell I just did. THIS IS WHY I CANT HAVE NICE THINGS!!!

I think about both of the girls I probably just screwed up in the head. If Mikasa is dating Jean then i guess that means I can date Krista without a second thought but that means she's the second choice which isn't fair to her at all....I don't know what I'm gonna do. I fall to the floor and prop against the wall like usual, whys life so complicated? Pixis comes in the back and sees me down.
"You okay kid?"
"Not really, I have girl problems."
"Ahh here this should help."
He pulls out a flask from his jacket and hands it to me.
"Isn't this illegal?"
"It always helped me when I had girl problems."
I just shrug my shoulders and take a sip then immediately spit it all out. He laughed at me doing so I continue spitting out the terrible liquid until it was all gone.
"That....was terrible...literally terrible."
"You get used to it after a while."
He says while swigging a few gulps of the alcohol, how is he even a teacher? Then the song stops and it's time for me to play another song. I get up from the floor and get the guitar and amp, I set it up on the stage and find a stool. I feel like trash but the show must go on I guess. I go up to the mic and tell the crowd what I'd be playing.
"Hey this is Mr.Brightside by The Killers."
I say abruptly and go straight back to the stool. Here goes nothing I guess.

(Insert song) sorry if this isn't the best quality I just really liked the cover :)

Coming out of my cage
And I've been doing just fine
Gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
Now I'm falling asleep
And she's calling a cab
While he's having a smoke
And she's taking a drag
Now they're going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it's all in my head
But she's touching his chest
Now, he takes off her dress
Now, let me go

I just can't look its killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it's just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
Cause I'm Mr Brightside

I'm coming out of my cage
And I've been doing just fine
Gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
Now I'm falling asleep
And she's calling a cab
While he's having a smoke
And she's taking a drag
Now they're going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it's all in my head
But she's touching his chest
Now, he takes off her dress
Now, let me go

'Cause I just can't look its killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibi
But it's just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
'Cause I'm Mr Brightside
I never
I never
I never
I never

The song ends and it's about the same as what happened last time, my mom is still jumping up and down and I can't help but to chuckle about it. When I go back stage I think about Mikasa and Krista,  it continues to flood my mind and like always it won't escape.