One with spirits

Guilt

I climbed through my bedroom window not wanting to feel the wrath of my family for sneaking out of the hospital. But when I was halfway though the window I went pale seeing Ichiro sitting on my bed looking at me with a serious expression. I went to climb back out the window but stopped when Ichiro spoke.

"You had us all worried sick. You really need to stop sneaki out of hospital." He said.

I sighed and sat next to him and looked down sadly. After all these years I was still scared of hospital because the memories of being with Orochimaru were still fresh in my mind. I wrapped my arms around myself and tears filled my eyes.

"I'm sorry uncle Ichiro." I choked out.

He placed his hand on my head and ruffled my hair slightly and gave me a small smile.

"You know you're just like your mother. Quick to anger, strong willed, takes no bullshit and following your emotions and gut." He said giving me a small smile.

"And yet my birth is the reason she died." I said sadly.

"Your still blaming yourself over that. My sister would have my head on a stick if I let you keep feeling like that. Your mother loved you more than anything despite never seeing you. She knew you would be strong. She loved her family more than anything and would give her life a thousand times more to protect any of us." He said.

"That doesn't change the fact that if I was never born she wouldn't have died nor would my other uncle or my father." I said my tears finally spilling from my eyes.

"You know of most of the past of our family but there was something you were never told. We were and still are hunted by a clan that was in the lead at same time as our clan was there. They killed most of us but some of us escaped and made a home in a forest. But when I was still young we knew we would be attacked so our family sent myself and my three siblings away to continue the family and we watched the house burn. So our family was hunted and you mother was the biggest target because she was the strongest out of us left so there was just as much chance of her dying if you weren't born. At least she died giving life to someone she loved dearly."

I looked at Ichiro shocked and saw sadness in his face. I leaped to him and gave him a hug shocking him. He hugged me back. I closed my eyes and a soft sigh escaped my mouth. Despite Ichiro insuring me that my mothers uncles and fathers deaths  weren't my fault I still felt a pang of guilt in my chest.

"Hitomi I've tried a thousand times to convince you it's not your fault but it obviously won't work and you need to come to that realisation yourself." Rico said to me sadly.

I gave a slight nod Rico's words. He did try a thousand times but his words never worked.