TB'SW ♥ 26: Begged

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Kabanata 26

"Good job everyone! We finally made even with the absence of the two owners! " Sir Gray happily said. I laughed in sarcasm.

Yeah, Astrair and Sir Alstreim left us in this island. What a jerk, right?

He left leaving me the pain, without even explaining anything. He made me look like a great stupid woman. Why did I even hope that even after what he did with Emerald, he'd come to me running and ask for forgiveness.

He didn't even told me what the fuck did I do. Because until now, I am confused.

Boys will always be boys, Erza. They will.never change. My mom can even cheat to my father face to face. How much more that Sir Astrair's whole perspectives of me were only words.

"We are heading back to Manila first thing in the morning. Let's enjoy the party! " Sir Gray added.

I immediately grabbed the brandy that I was holding and dropped it hard on the sand.

Right, I should enjoy this! My ghod Erza! He's just a man! He's not the air you breath. You have experienced more lethal from this pain you are currently facing. You just have to forget.

But.

I love him, and it's hurting me. That's the the easiest logic in my situation.

Why does this pain seems to be different from the pain I have been through. This pain is unlike any other pain. The mixture of sadness, longing, love, hate, everything in one combination.

Is it because, I didn't expect this one? Is this because the things that I have feard were becoming true?

After that night I heard hin moaning with some other woman, I didn't saw him. I just woke up after that night that he's gone with Sir Al.

Damn this life. I'm so stupid, I didn't even used my brain!

It's so rare for me to open my heart with someone but it turns out like this. Such a stupid move, Erza. Very stupid.

*****

"Miss, wake up, we're goin." Lucy said while slowly tapping my cheeks.

I raised on the bed and sighed. I'm feeling lifeless and very very weak. I groaned when I remembered what I said last night.

Stupidity again.

I fixed my hair in messy bun and wore a cargo shorts and spaghetti top. I only wear a sandals because there's a big chance that I'll get wet from this.

I have no more time to waste. I should be even more productive than what I am.

I don't even think that I am capable of loving someone again. It's pretty traumatic.

Well, as they say. There are really things that would only come to us for a certain reason, and that's to make us experience the things we never really want to experience. It's a way of giving us lessons. Lessons that will forever be encrypted in our hearts. Lesson that will motivate us to continue living, and swear to never to that again.

Like on what he did to me.

It's too quick right? He didn't even let me understand the situation first before doing it.

It's funny and so fast.

If someone will know about what happened to me, he/she will really laugh. Laugh about the fact that my level of stupidity is this much that I didn't even know that he's only tricking the hell out of me.

After I gave up everything. After I gave up myself to him. He did this to me.

Oh well, I should not be shocked anymore because we're not on the same level. He's too high to catch.

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