In 57 Days

Chapter Twenty Seven

soooo yep.
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[ twenty seven ]

***Sabrina's POV***

I starred at the reflection in the mirror.

The girl starring back at me looked drained. She looked broken and unstable. She looked as if her breaking point was just around the corner. Pale face and dull eyes; a faded smile and tear-stained cheeks. She looked destroyed. This girl starred back at me, but I refused to believe it.

She wasn't me.

I leaned against the sink and looked a little closer. Why am I doing this to myself? When did I become like this?

I slowly backed away into the wall, sliding down it and onto the floor. I put my head in my hands. Within a matter of seconds my mind drifted off.

Every moment I wasn't occupied, I found myself drifting off to him. I tried to do as many things as possible, but I just kept thinking, and thinking, and thinking. And you know what? Overthinking can literally make you insane, and can cause a mental break down.

Jack made me feel completely worthless. I felt useless. I didn't want to lose him but it felt as though I was played. I was able to draw the conclusion that I wasn't 'different.' I was a game. Yet somehow, even though I knew Jack was an ass for doing what he did to me, I craved him more and more.

"Jack misses you."

"He can kiss my ass."

"I bet he would."

"Matt," I warned. He held up his hands defensively.

"Alright, sorry, I'll stop talking about it."

How can Jack miss me? He ruined me. He did this. Every time I walk away from him it hurts. It physically hurts. My heart would slightly ache, and my head would beg me to turn back around. I always ignore it. A small, tiny voice tells me to. But honestly? I want him.

But how can I want him? He's doing this to me. He made me like this. Why am I craving him?

*

"Yeah," Stephanie smiled. Apparently, her and Cameron were together now. How this happened, I don't even know.

I looked around at everyone. Tobi and Taylor, Stephanie and Cameron, Kristen and Nash. Alexis and Matt looked pretty interested in each other, too, if you ask me. I can see them together.

"Cameron?" I asked, walking up to him.

"Yeah?"

"Can I talk to you?"

We walked outside of Taylor's room, where we all were, and stood in the hall.

"What's up?"

"I think it's time for me to go back home," I said quietly.

"What? We still have, like, thirty something days," he said surprised.

"I know, I just can't do this. I didn't want to be here in the first place, Cam," I tried to persuade him.

"I know," he sighed, "Are you sure?"

I thought for a minute or two. If I left, I wouldn't have to deal with seeing Jack everyday. I could get away from the drama and games. It can all be over with.

But then again, I wouldn't see Taylor or Mahogany or anyone else for a while. Do I want to risk that, too?

I looked back into the room through the slightly opened door. Everyone was sitting in a circle laughing. I smiled slightly, "Yeah. I'm sure."