In 57 Days

Chapter Thirty Eight

so yeah songs for this chap:

bullet train // stephen edwards ft joni fatora

toxic // melanie martinez (cestladore remix)

all i want // kodaline

the only reason // 5 seconds of summer

comment, vote, fan x
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[ thirty eight ]

***Sabrina's POV***

"I say we all go to the beach," Carter suggested. We were deciding where to go on our last day, and it was also Carter's birthday, so we wanted to do something for him.

"I'm in," Nash said as Kristen leaned into his chest. She nodded.

"Me too," Jack J pipped up. Everyone else agreed, and we were all packed in the car and ready to go within 15 minutes.

Kristen sat on Nash's lap and Tobi sat on Taylor's. Matt was smiling idiotically at his phone, and I'm guessing he was texting Alexis. Cameron was too, which was probably his girlfriend Stephanie. Aaron, Carter, Jack J, Jack G, and Shawn all starred longingly at them.

"We need girlfriends," Shawn announced. Cam and Matt looked up, as well as the other four.

"I bet you can't get one even if you tried," Taylor challenged. They shot him a glare.

"I can," Carter argued. "I just haven't met anyone."

"So, how about you try and find a girl at the beach. You know, you could use a little birthday fun," Jack G winked.

"You up for the challenge?" Taylor asked them. I hope this isn't another bet.

"Yeah. I can get a girl if I wanted to," Aaron said.

"Guys, I swear, this better not be a fucking bet," I pipped up. They all shook their heads.

"Well, we're here," Jack G said as he parked. Everyone pilled out of the car and ran towards the ocean. Jack and I were left alone.

Jack awkwardly scratched the back of his neck and I looked down at my feet. I knew I had to talk to him at some point, and I guess now was a good time.

"Listen, I-" we both said at the same time. "No, you-" again. "You first," he managed to say. I smiled briefly.

"Listen, I've been thinking a lot. I hate where we left off, and I just really miss-"

"Stop right there," he said softly. I looked at him, confused. "Please don't say you've missed me. I worked so damn hard for this, Sabrina, for us. You just gave it up without a fight. I fought for you, and you just let me go. I don't understand. You left, and you're trying to say that you've missed me?" Jack sounded hurt, like I just shoved a knife into his stomach.

"I have, though. I love you. I was just confused, and hurt, but-"

"I don't know," he said quietly. "Is it even worth it? How can we fix this, and-"

"Jack, what are you saying?" I whispered. He met my eyes.

"I just need to think this over."

***Jack's POV***

Sabrina looked down and nodded, before making her way over to everyone else.

"I love you."

I caught her words in the middle of her rant. That was the only thing I heard, really, but it hurt me to let her walk away.,

I loved her. I couldn't just stop, but we've been through so much. All the pain and the mistakes, the time we can't replace. Everything we've ever had was just shattered. Is it worth it?

But she's worth it. I want this, I want us. I missed her.

But if she loved me, then why'd she leave me? I had no doubt that I loved her. She brought out the best in me, and when she left, it ruined me. Now she's back? I just don't understand.

Jack walked over to me, and leaned against the car next to me, "You alright, man?"

"Just confused as shit," I sighed. He raised his eyebrows, telling me to explain further. "It's just Sabrina. She said that she loved me."

"Isn't that good?" He asked.

"But why'd she leave? She gave up on us without a fight," I said quietly.

"I know. I think you should do what you really want. You want her, right?" I nodded. "Then get her. We all make mistakes, Jack, but sometimes we can't help it. Sometimes we need to be forgiven. Take a risk, sometimes it's worth it in the end."

I nodded slowly, letting his words sink in. Maybe he was right, and maybe it was complete bullshit. But this is my best friend we're talking about.

"Thanks, man," I said. He grinned and nodded, then started walking back towards everyone. I jogged to catch up with him, then let every thought about Sabrina slip away before I decided to actually have fun.

*

"I can't believe you got a date for later," Taylor said to Carter. He smirked.

"Told you I could. Aaron and Shawn got one, too," he said. They nodded.

"Yeah," they said.

I nudged Jack, "What 'bout you, huh?"

"I didn't really like anyone. Besides, I don't want a girlfriend right now," he said. I nodded understandingly.

We all were sitting on the sand, the girls laying on their backs tanning. The guys sat in a circle a few feet away talking. My gaze made it's way to Sabrina, and I sighed. I really did have to finish what we started earlier. I stood up and walked over, "Sab?" She looked up through her Ray-Bands. "Can we talk?" She nodded and got up, walking with me along the shore line, away from everyone else.

***Sabrina's POV***

"I just need to know one thing," Jack said after a couple minutes of silence. I watched my feet as we walked and remained quiet. "Why'd you leave me?"

I stopped walking and looked up at him. He stared down at me. "Jack, I just couldn't handle everything. Too much was going on at one time so I did what I do best and ran. I left because I was lost and confused, but I just couldn't figure out that-"

"You stopped loving me," he whispered, cutting me off. His words were barely audible but I managed to hear them over my rant. Now it feels as if he shoved a knife into my stomach, but twisted it. I didn't break his intense gaze, and took in a deep breath.

"I haven't stopped loving you," I said quietly. "I could never stop loving you. I just stopped showing it."

As I said those words, a weight got lifted off my shoulders. I never left Jack because I hated him, or because I never loved him. I left because I was too scared to get hurt more than I already did. I was too scared to admit that I fell in love with him, and I was too damn scared of what might happen. I left because I was scared.

Jack didn't respond. He just starred at me for a couple more seconds before leaning down and cupping my cheeks. He tilted my head up and brought my lips to his, closing the space between us. I reacted quickly and kissed him back. It felt good to be like this again.

We pulled apart and he smiled at me, "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," I replied. Those words actually had a true meaning behind them, and I meant it.