The tutor - Nash fanfic

Part 13

 “What?” There was nothing but hurt in is eyes. He truly meant it.

“I am sorry, for everything! I miss you!” I didn't know what to say.

“John I-” He cut me off before I got to say anything else.

“Let me just talk, please?” I nodded making him continue.

“I have been the biggest jerk ever! And I have no excuse. And I can't believe I left when you needed someone the most. I know that this wont go back to normal again, but can we at least try to be friends? Forgive me?”

A tear rolled down his cheek. I brushed it away with my thumb and smiled a little.

“Why? What made you change you mind?” I asked.

“When Nash said that you, you know, harmed yourself, I realized what we had done. And there was no other reason for you to do that, not even the death of your family. Because you are strong. So when you are broken, something very very bad has happened to you. You were the bravest person ever after the accident.”

Now there were tears in both of our eyes. He took my wrist in his hand and lifted my shirt up, showing all the scars. The second he saw the scars, he embraced me in a hug. I stood still, not moving for a moment, before I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him back. God, how I missed his hugs. I started sobbing, with my head buried in his neck. As soon as he felt me crying, he hugged me even tighter.

“I am so sorry (Y/N).” He said once again. His hand stroking my hair. Just like he used to.

“I've missed you so much!” I said in between sobbing.

“I've missed you too, like crazy.” We stood in the hallway, hugging, for a few more minutes before we pulled away. Our eyes met, and we both started laughing a bit, before he hugged me once again.

“I have to get home now, but I'll see you again tomorrow, right?” He said as he pulled away from the hug. I nodded as he walked out the door. What just happened?

I walked back to the kitchen, smiling. Aunt Jess looked at me curiously.

“That was John. He apologised.” I said still not able to stop smiling. She walked up to be and gave me a tight hug, showing me that she was happy for me.

“Does that mean it's all over?” I hadn't thought about that. Was it over? Could I really walk to school without having to worry about them.

“Honey?” Oh, yeah right. I had to answer as well.

“I hope so.” I still had no idea what John would do. I was pretty sure he wouldn't bully me anymore, but would he still be hanging with Luke and Nash? Would he listen to them as they talked crap about me? I pushed the thoughts away, not wanting to think about it right now. And It was Friday, so I didn't have to worry about it until Monday.

After all this I felt ten times lighter. Like a huge table had been lifted off me, where I had all my worries. It felt good. You know that picture you get I your head where you're running around in a field of flowers and there is this big tree in the middle where you can just sit down and relax and not worrying about anything? No? Is it just me? Well anyway, that's how I felt. I felt free.

I let go of my aunt and walked into my room. I walked over to my bed and lifted the mattress up and got the envelope out. I looked at the blades. One single tear fell from my cheek as I reached down.

“Let's try this one more time.” I said to myself as I pulled a rubber band out off the envelope. Placing the rubber band around my wrist, I felt my heart starting to raise. Last time I tried this, it only turned out worse. I really wanted to stop harming myself, but it was harder than I expected. But this time, it would work!

I layed down on my bed. Looking up at the roof, I started thinking about today. A lot had happened. And now everyone knew my secret. Wait, what? Shit! I forgot about that. Everyone knew about my wrists. Maybe it wasn't over yet. But hopefully.

After a few hours of not doing anything at all, I decided to go to bed. I just wanted tomorrow to be here right now. But would it be awkward between me and John? I have probably never been more confused before going to bed, ever. All these questions were running inside of my head, and I couldn't wait to get them all answered. Although I was also scared at the same time.

I woke up by a loud crash. Opening my eyes, I saw that my window was broken. And a rock was on the floor with a note on it. As I got up from my bed, aunt Jess rushed into my room.

“What just happened? Are you okay? Oh my cheese cake, why is your window smashed?” I didn't answer any of her questions, I just walked over to the rock, lifted it up and took the note.

“You have just released hell”