The tutor - Nash fanfic

Part 35

You know that feeling you get when you know you're late for your flight, or the horrible feeling you get in your stomach when your parents says that they need to talk to you? Yeah, the feelings I'm having at this moment, makes the other situations sound like cold water in the desert.

My date with Nash was in less than two hours, and right now, when my hair is dripping cold water, I realise that I don't want to go. Not literally, but kinda. This is our first date, which basically means that at the end of the date you decide whether you want to go on another date, or if there is no chance of doing that again what so ever. And no, I'm not scared of my own decision. I'm scared to hear Nash's decision. No, forget scared, I'm terrified.

But even though I really liked him, and that kiss we shared made it even clearer, I'm still caught up in the past. In no time, Nash can take another 180 turn. That would be his third time, and to be honest, it wouldn't have surprised me. The first turn was when he went from being my “prince charming” in first grade, to my living nightmare. The next turn was the one he did recently, when he turned from my biggest fair, to a guy who actually seemed to care. And for all I know, this whole thing could turn out to be a big joke to him.

I looked down at my scars, suddenly feeling sick. There were no recent scars, but they still felt numb. Oh, how I hated myself for liking him. The one who had done this to me. Why was I going on a date with him? Maybe I could look at the date as more of a closure, rather than a possible start of something. Right, that's what I'll do. A closure date.

As I curled the last piece of hair, there was a knock on the door. I took a deep breath, preparing myself. I was wearing a pair of black high-waisted shorts with a red t-shirt, which hung loose on my shoulder, tucked inside. And of course I wore my white converse, which matched the white-ish bandana on my head. My long, brown hair was curled from my ears and down, and I decided to go easy on the make up.

I opened the door, revealing a tall, handsome guy. He was wearing a pair of black jeans, and a white shirt, with arms folded to above his elbows. Never had I seen him like this before, and I must say, wow. I tried to tear my eyes away from him, but for some “unknown” reason, I wasn't able to. His hair was in a perfect quiff, making him look even better. If that was possible of course. Snap out of it (Y/N)! This is a closure. Nothing more, nothing less.

“Wow (Y/N), you look... wow!” Nash said, and it looked like he was struggling with the same as me, which made me kinda proud of my outfit choice. I grabbed his hand, which he was holding out for me to take. “Enjoy yourself tonight (Y/N), because this is the first and last date with this guy.” I kept telling myself, as we walked hand in hand on our way to.... Yeah, I had no idea where we were going.

“No, that would be Pegasus.” Nash corrected, pointing at the starts. He had taken me out on a picnic which he had prepared before we got there. There were two lit candles, and a bunch of rose petals around and on the blanket. Matt had helped him make sandwiches, and a can of lemonade. It both made me happy and sad, seeing how much time he had spent on this date, which I tried to look at as a closure.

We were currently laying on the blanket next to each other, looking at the constellations in the sky. I had pointed at something that looked like Orion, but obviously it wasn't, seeing that Nash apparently knew quite a few things about this.

“How do you know all this stuff?” I asked, actually wanting to know. I don't know why, but whatever he said, I wanted to listen to it. How his beautifully smooth voice rang in the air. How his Adam's apple moved up and down every time he swallowed. And even if it's just a voice, no matter how stupid it sounds, I had fell in love with it. It was weird, how I started to notice stuff like this. For example how his hair seems to “bounce” on top of his head for every step he takes. Or how his eyes have got an extra spark, like he is looking at a thousand naked women. And I couldn't help but smile at myself as I noticed that I had paid more attention to how beautiful his voice was, that to what he was actually saying.

I felt a tap on my shoulder, and my face was soon burning as I noticed that he had caught me staring at him. I looked away, not wanting him to see my reddened face. It didn't take long until he was leaning over me, looking me straight in the eyes. I stared into his eyes, not able to move. How did he do this. My heart was beating out of my chest just by thinking of the position we were in. If you're not one hundred percent sure how it looks, let me explain;

I am lying on the blanket, facing up. He his hovering over my body, with one leg on each side of me and his arms on each side of my head. And if that wasn't enough, he had to lean his forehead onto mine, making him come even closer to me. And I hated the effect it had on me. Because you know that thing you do all the time, you know the whole “turning oxygen into carbon dioxide” thing? Yeah.... Apparently my brain stopped working, so I had forgotten how to do that.

I felt his minty breath on my lips, as he started to lean in. I had to stop this. This was a closure, and it shouldn't be like this. If we kissed, and I later told him that we couldn't be more than friends, that would basically make me the biggest bitch on this planet. I had to stop. I couldn't let him go through with it. But on the other hand, he was awfully close already, and awfully handsome.

“Nash.” I breathed out, just an inch away from his lips.