Redemption {Negan FanFic}

My Salvation

Negan's POV

Its been three days. I haven't slept more than six hours in those three days. I mostly paced around the compound, walking around as if I had lost something and was trying to find it.

Day after day I thought about going back and dealing with those pricks. I managed to keep myself from going back, because I knew I'd be killing some bitches when I went back, and for the first time in a long ass time, I can say we didn't need anyone else dropping lately. With Dwight, my son, and then Kit, I wasn't having it.

I was sitting outside the compound, we had buried her body right before the woods started on the south side. I stood out there every once in a while, just thinking.

On the third day of her being gone, I couldn't take it anymore. I was going to go back and confront those asssuckers, and see what Daryl has to say for himself.

I sped off down the road, hitting a few walkers on the road, not really caring. I went straight there, almost wanting to ram through the gate. But then I decided that probably wasn't the right thing to do in this situation. Some bitch opened the gate, I recklessly made my way into the town. This time the vibe was different, usually people in the town would gather and stare like deer in the headlights when I came rolling into town, but this time, no one stopped, instead I saw people glancing before running indoors, or keeping their distance and carrying on. The town was quiet, and seemed empty; much like many things are now.

I got out of the truck, the bitch that tried to shoot me greeting me with her arms crossed.

"Can I help you?" She snapped.

"Damn, I know you're a Latino but calm down. I'm not here to fiddle, I know you all have been waiting for me to come-"

"If you're looking for Daryl you'll have to talk to someone else. No one has seen him in days." She said, walking back to the gate, leaving me.

I cursed to myself, hoping to the gods he hadn't escaped, or that would just be another shit show to manage. I found one of my guards, telling them to bring Rick to me. He did, but when he brought Rick to me, he also brought the whole damn town. Everyone was now gathering as they did usually, but it was different this time. Everyone was dead silent. The only sound was Rick's footsteps. He kept his head down, his hands on his hips as he approached me. I met him halfway, stopping at a good distance. I stood there for a long while, waiting for him to grow some balls and tell me what I want to hear. As always, no balls came.

I swear, I was already on the verge of braking out and killing someone to keep from fucking crying.

"Come on, Ricky boy. Tell me..." I said, my voice shaking, I used the most stern voice I could. Rick just looked at me, his own eyes now watering. I scoffed, leaning in close to his face. "a-are you crying? Are you serious right now?" I stepped back and laughed. "you people really are animals, I swear to fucking God! Don't act like this tugged at your little, dried out heart. You didn't give a horse's shit about her... I know you fucking didn't!" Sorry, I snapped. I couldn't have a fucking filter anymore. "Where the fuck is he, Rick?! And I swear to Jesus's dick you better not fuck around with me, or I will fucking kill something." I said, gripping onto Lucille.

Rick looked back, scratching his beard. "Negan... I know,we're all mourning. Just- we don't need anyone else dying-"

"Cut the shit, Rick. You have two seconds." I demanded.

He hesitated before nodding. He got out a walk talky, telling someone to bring him to the square. I waited anxiously. For Kit, I was going to try with everything in me to not kill him. I was afraid I would as soon as I saw him, I was going to keep it together though.

He came walking into the circle of people that Rick and I stood in. He walked with his head held high, no emotion. That's Daryl for you. I held onto Lucille so tightly, I couldn't barley feel blood flow. I stared at him as he walked over to us, he stopped beside Rick.

"you better have something to say to me, cowboy." I scoffed, shifting me weight to one leg. "Because like I've made very clear, I'm about to kill someone. And you all knew this was coming."

Daryl was silent for a moment, he looked down. "Did you ever think that this was your fault, man?" He spoke louder than I've ever heard, which wasn't very loud, but was loud to the man who always grumbled.

The atmosphere was still silent, almost felt more silent. My heart pounder so fucking fast, I was going to kill him. I wasn't going to let this fucker turn it on me.

"Carful voice, Daryl. Don't want to piss me off-" I walked closer to him.

"Well did'cha? I mean, why in the hell-" I wasn't going to let him finish.

I grabbed him by the throat with both hands, not putting enough pressure to kill him. "You fuckers didn't fully king care if she died! You blew the smoke, you threw the first punch! She came here to see you, because she fucking cared about you fuckers even though you fucked her over! Because she wasn't a simple minded piece of shit like all the bodies in this hell hole... " my voice cracked with anger and emotion. It was starting to come out. "She had her hands up, and was surrendered, whether you saw it was her or not she had her hands up! Because she didn't want to kill a single thing." Dammit. I felt tears swelling in my eyes. "You killed my girl. My. Girl. And I would kill you, worse than I've killed anyone in my entire existence if it wasn't for her." I threw him back with as much force as I could, causing him to fall the ground.

I looked at everyone, giving Rick a hard stare. I started to walk back to my truck before I was going to kill anyone, but then a voice.

"Negan, we know you didn't love her. Give it up, you're not foolin' anyone anymore." Daryl coughed up. I stopped in my tracks, turning back to look at him, still on the ground. "She was just a trophy you kept to rub in our face."

Fuck

I breathed deeply, strolling over to him, throwing Lucille down to force myself not to use her, instead I walked over to him, stood above him, and kicked the fucker as hard as I could with the tip of my boot in the face, causing him to fly backwards. Everyone gasped in shock, like they didn't see it coming. It was as predictable as Glenn's death, come on.

I was still fucking, crying, I tried to pull my shit together before speaking.

I looked around at the people, stopping and staring at the people around Rick and Daryl. "I did fucking love her, and it's not easy for me to say about someone. I don't love anything. I love her. She was the thing keeping me docile towards you people. You hated my soft side? Now you're going to be in a hell of a surprise." I said, trying to wipe my tears casually, picking up Lucille.

I walked back to the truck, stopping and looking at Rick. "She was mine, never your's, you animals. I kept her to save her. " I opened the truck to leave. "I was her salvation, but she was also mine."