Always Been You

Thirteen

Everglow

Pakiramdam ko ay isa akong bangkay na paunti-unting naagnas.  Each part of me drifted away.  It's all in songs that my jealousy of that someone he loves, kills me a million times.  

He came to my life, I let him go.  He is special to me that even now his very presence from afar sends me different emotions I cannot even categorize.

oh they say people come, say people go
this particular diamond was extra special
and though you might be gone, and the world may not know
still I see you, celestial

He put me in situation that I fell in love with him and I cannot take it back anymore.  Our relationship is finished in the most unexpected moment,  I am not even prepared would have happened.  Yun ang pinakamasakit sa akin.  

The sadness enslave me sa panahong wala na siya sa buhay ko.  But no matter how I neglect the feeling I have for him, it stays in the deepest part of my heart.  It remains there no matter what, as it will everglow.

like a lion you ran, a goddess you rolled
like an eagle you circled, in perfect purple
so how come things move on, how come cars don't slow
when it feels like the end of my world
when I should but I can't let you go?

He can't let me go? hah! Pero bakit niya nagawang magtaksil sa akin.  napailing ako.  This is purely insane.

what I wouldn't give for just a moment to hold
yeah I live for this feeling this everglow

***

As Paolo sang, Pakiramdam niya ay nandito ang tao na siyang nasa isip niya ngayon.  He poured all his emotions in singing this particular song.  He haven't moved on from that painful experience.  My goddess baby, so perfect just slipped away.  

so if you love someone, you should let them know
oh the light that you left me will everglow

I wanted to slow down and keep our memories cherished in my heart.  Masyado lang nagpadala ang kasintahan niya sa kung ano man ang gusto niyang paniwalaan.  The issue of trust is out of context already.  Alam niya masyado lang nasaktan ang dalaga sa nasaksihan nung panahon na yun.  

In as much as he wanted to deliver the song perfectly pumiyok siya.  Saglit lang yun at di niya alam kung napansin ba yun ng mga kabanda niya.  How did it happen? He saw her from the lower box.  She in her soft curl brown hair.  Her skin is glowing I cannot help but stare at her.  HIndi ko magawang ihiwalay ang paningin ko sa kanya.  The warmth feeling upon seeing here in our concert gives me light and peace.  Baby I missed you. Napapikit ako.  

God why does we have be torn apart eh kung ganito ko naman siya kamahal?  Bakit kailangan mangyari ang ganito.  Kung saan sigurado na ako sa kanya.  Madaya ang buhay sa aming dalawa.  

As I sing, it's like I'm saying that when I feels alone, the everglow carries me through; the warm memories of the deep emotional connection are strong enough to support me.  Sana maramdaman niya ang lahat ng ito.  

Her memories with me gives me the feeling, this everglow.  Through this feeling, I felt that she is still with me, and I derive comfort from this feeling. Despite our being physically distant, there's still a connection, even if it is only one way now.

Basically, he just wanted clear up for her to understand the situation, whether the hurt or how to recover. But she never let me do it.  Now, I'm in a difficult place in life where I wants to feel the "everglow"–to feel at peace when so often I can only feel sadness.  Ngayon nasilayan ko ang kanyang mala anghel na mukha, I can say that there will a time for us to be together.  Naipangako ko sa sarili ko.

"Dude, okay ka lang ba?" bulong sa akin ni Josef, isang basist namin.  pasimple lang akong tumango.  "Yeah." tipid kong sagot.

This song I sang for her, I want to let her know that it's never too late for us.  I wish she would know that my love for her never fades and that she could feel this more often.  But no matter what his regrets... the light that she left me will everglow.