Always Been You

Twenty seven (part one)

Turning point

Old books neatly arranged on the shelves.  Mahogany table and chair proudly positioned in the farthest middle part of the room. Victoria style wing chair facing each other at other end of the table.  The modern chaise lounge chair is so inviting for the lazy day.   Typical picture of the library.

I used to sit here with mom as I pleaded for some young boy's pleasures. Since she is strict when it comes to granting our caprices, this rooms served as our grilling area.

Naalala ko pa nung pinagalitan na nga ako, hindi pa talaga ako pinagbigyan. Going out of town with the rest of the troops. Halos maglupasay na ako but knowing mom, she never changed her mind.

Before drowing with old memories, the door widely opened. Iniluwa duon sila mommy at ate. I don't know with dad. Baka out of the country na naman.

"So, the famous rockstar is in the house! How are you dear brother?" ano pa ba ang ipagtataka ko ky ate. Siya ata ang tinaguriang queen of the bitches. But I love her though. I know she still loves me sa likod ng pagtataray niya.

I smiled wickedly at her. Makuha ka sa tingin.

"Not as good as I am now, beautiful sister." I smirked. tumaas na ang kilay ni mommy. Animo'y may naamoy na naman siyang di kaaya-ayang pangitain.

"Really? Oh before I forget. I saw Dr. Laurice when we were in Glendale. She even performed the surgery with a partner surgeon. If I could remember it correctly, HE is Dr. Chad Ocampo. You familiar with him?" The way she talked as if it's just a very normal thing to do. I can see sarcasm there.

Samantalang halos manginig na ako sa di ko mapangalanang emosyon. Hearing her talking about my Reese and mentioning about man's name? Damn it! Halos mapigti na ang mga ugat sa leeg ko. Ang mga ngipin ko ay nag sumo-wresting lang. Dama ng panga ko ang pag-alsa ng dugo ko sa katawan. I can hardly breath now.

Tumikhim na si mommy in an unusual higher pitch. Bumontong hininga ako as if to calm my wracking nerves. Damn! I never felt this helpless. Ano ba ang pinaglalaban ko dito.

Yumuko ako to hide my frustrations.

"I called for this particular time to set things straight." mom said in her monotonous tone. Nalilitong mga mata ang ibinigay ko sa kanya.

"The hospital is in need of your service Matthew. You are to be sent to California for some training but... not in Glendale." as if bomb suddenly exploded. I immediately stood up. Pati ba naman ikaw mom?

Out of despair, I put both hands on my waist to gain balance if I could.  I walked back and forth in the same imaginary line.

"Alam mo nahihilo na ako sa 'yo Paolo.  Umupo ka nga." angal niya. Ate seemed irritated on my behaviour but the less I care. I have a career in its still blooming phase.

Should I let it go this early? Just in time of how my sister breaks the news of Laurice with a surgeon partner? I don't know! Madumi na ang naglalaro sa isipan ko as if the sound ability to decide suddely went missing.

Rational thinking is nowhere to be found.  Emotinal thinking consumed the whole of me. Damn jealousy.  Since when did insecurity eats me?

"Mom, you know I have a band to take responsible of.  Hindi ko sila basta basta iwanan sa ere." kaunting pitik na akin alam kong sasabog na ako.

"I am aware of that.  Anyway, I am still giving you the time to make a full exit on your music career. For almost five years, I let you.  But this is a family legacy passed on through generations Matthew.  We should take care of it.  Most especially because you are my son."

My mind is clouded with uncertainties.  Never been so unsure of what is yet to happen.  Mom's words are always the law of the land. 

I sighed in defeat.  "Alright mom."