Always Been You

Thirty nine

Together

I never thought we could be this intimate again. Yun bang magiging kumportable ulit ang pakiramdam ko sa kanya?  Years have passed, maraming bagay na ang nangyari.  sa ngayon hindi ko alam kung saan siya naging totoo sa akin. But what's bothering me is his being cool about it.  as if everything is back on its normal phase. I find it hard to cope.

Surely my hearts still beats for him. No question about it.  I smiled bitterly at the thought. But so much have wasted. Madami kami sanang pinagsasamahan na lungkot at ligaya.

Nakakapanghinayang lang kung bakit may mga relasyon na humantong pa sa hindi magandang pagtatapos. Katulad ng sa amin.   Eh mahal niyo naman pala ang isa't isa? May umakyat na mapait sa lalamunan ko, kahit ang paglunok ay mahirap gawin. Is it because of the unsaved ego or a hurting heart who just fall in deep sadness because of betrayal?  Ito yung problema ngayon.  Our unresolved issue.

Yung sinasabi nila na nagmahal lang naman ako, bakit kailangan akong masaktan ng ganito. Ngunit sadyang mapagbiro ang tadhana. Kung kailan handa ka ng pakawalan ang lahat ay siya naman ang nagpalapit sa inyo.

Inagaw ng maiinit na palad ang pagkalunod ko sa lalim ng aking pag-iisip. I was about to drink my morning coffee  when he sat beside me. Ang kabila niyang kamay ang nakapulupot na sa bewang ko.  Yeah,  he made me his own version of Caramel Mashiato for me na kanina ko pa pala tinitigan.

"Don't think too much Laurice. Now have your morning coffee baby, c'mon. " tiningnan ko siya na blangko ang ekspresyon sa aking mukha.   I should keep my distance from him right? Wala naman akong makapang pagsisi sa nangyari kagabi.  ginusto ko naman yun.   Having that hot kissing session is something I love to recall over and over again.   but then I feel like I need to detach myself from it bago pa mahuli ang lahat. Lalo lang gumugulo ang sistema ko.

"drink. Because you need to prepare. We're going somewhere." he beamed with excitement and gladness.  siya lang naman ang mukhang excited sa sinasabi niya eh.   I don't have any idea of he is referring to.

"Ano na naman this time?" pagsusungit ko pa sa kanya.  yeah I may have sounded the opposite of what he feels right now but that's the least of my concern anymore. Ayoko lang na para bang okay na sa kanya ang lahat.  That we are back to our old selves. I hate how comfortable he deals with me. Ugh!

"don't worry.  you will surely love it, baby."  inirapan ko siya. He waited for my answers patiently with puppy eyes.  Yuck!

It took us forty five minutes to reach Satorini airport. Ipapasyal daw niya ako sa pinakamagandang lugar dito. Where he owned a beautiful place pala.   Nakaabang na kaagad ang black limo para sa amin.  Oh siya na ang mayaman.

The driver cordially opened the car door for us.  Nauna akong pumasok sa loob after he exchanged pleasantries with him. Sumunod naman kaagad sa akin si Matthew. He smells so good.   Nagwala ata ang mga kulisap sa tiyan ko. I tried my best to ignore his presence. Pero ang loko, mas lalo pang nagsumiksik sa leeg. Halos manigas naman ako sa tabi niya.

It is hard to describe in words how beautiful Satorini Island is.  From its white washed painted walls to its pastel colored roofs. They are layered so beautifully on the valley.

The place looks amazing!
"So do you like it here?" nakayapos siya sa akin habang nakahiling sa aking balikat ang buong mukha niya. 

"Uh-huh..." tipid akong tumango. yeah this place is beyond perfect. nilingon ko siya mula sa aking balikat. And why being so perfect too, Matthew?  I enjoyed watching the scenic view while he keeps on nuzzling my neck and jaw. I wiggled by its tickling effect but he kept me still.

By afternoon, we watched the sunset from the veranda.  Magkahalong kahel at liwanag ang natatanaw namin.

"You don't know how much this means to me." malalim siyang bumuntong hininga. "you're so special to me Reese.  If I have to trade everything just to have you this time in my life again, I would really do without any second thought."

Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. Ano drama naman nito? "what are you talking about?" I sound disinterested taliwas sa naramdaman ko halos sumabog na ang puso ko sa sobrang antisipasyon.

"Please take me back." his voice full of  desperation. His eyes showed lots of emotions I couldn't recognize. Namumula na ito na sadyang pinigilan niyang huwag maiyak. "Let us be together again for real baby.  I will do everything just to make you stay."