NO SIGNAL FOUND [RE-WRITING]

suton*

goodnight is a good substitute for all the things we'll never say

and i'm wondering where to draw the line
when i start talking to myself
or someone starts answering?

crooked, but it never looked so right.
writing about old feelings because
there's nothing new

i can't decipher what i feel for you
you're like a color that doesn't exist
a toss between sea green
and dirt brown

you called me crystal blue
and i said
"you should come with a warning sign"

because there's nothing worse than
an unwanted surprise

at the time, i needed you
but i was never one for redamancy

all that once existed
must've been a figment of your imagination
for i never really had you
and you never really had me

sometimes the words you whispered
still call me back

two people who think with their hearts
are the most dangerous of all

manipulation becomes second nature
a natural instinct
and those three words i use too much
always slip so freely from
my mouth

sorry doesn't begin to cover it
not when i'm not even sure
if i'm sorry in the first place

i say what you want to hear
and you do the same to me

we both know exactly what we're doing
but i'm sure in the end
we don't care

i wonder
is there even an us or
should i give up on 'we'
and referring to you as 'him'
and more like
'one id rather forget'?

there's no easy part
forgetting and letting go
tear me apart

i'm relieved when i walk away
but devastated when you let me go

cautious to approach you
but glad when you give me that
ethereal smile

is walking away right now too soon
or is staying for now too long?

//you're gone and i'm not sure i mind//
10:57 pm
11-16-16

*approach of death or end of something