NO SIGNAL FOUND [RE-WRITING]

thoughts i wish i didnt have

•you sit there under humming blue lights that are unflattering to your complexion, promise to never look at your reflection in passing at your local drugstore
•fingers twitching, brushing at tendrils gone loose from your ponytail and the tiny indent of a scar that trails from your jawline to your cheekbone, but it's hardly noticeable
•stomach churning, yearning for something more than this, do you even know of something more than this?
•feet tapping on pigmented linoleum, i think you're ready to get up and go, but you won't

•he has said it all before, renovated and twisted time and time again so its almost anew, almost
•yet you wish to hear it again, again, again, again until those words don't sound like words
•and it's just too hard to comprehend

•but every second you push and block out the phrases
•every second of this beast howling, prowling inside of you, you starve it
•you kill it slowly
•until you give in again, again, again, again and it drinks up, until you've had enough, we've had enough of this shameless parade

•the cycle renews and you... you have history repeating in your error code

•learning to go // when all you want to do is stay