NO SIGNAL FOUND [RE-WRITING]

present and the flashbacks

the normalcy:

listening to sad songs in my car the tank almost empty and i'm crying crying over you as the station skips and quivers to an ad about something something i can't remember as i shake my head trying to remember what exactly you said to make me so sad

all of the past whispers:

calling you up on the phone, stealing a whole night from the world claiming it for just you and me, staying up till dawn as the alcohol swishes around with that warm fuzzy feeling for a moment i'm whole, your voice hazy in my ear, as i laugh gently and talk over you "best night of my life i love you best friend" and i meant it i meant it but i don't think you knew in what way i said it

the present is always a moment behind:

chasing a lost feeling, losing it in the open window of the passenger seat with snow and sleet finding its way through the cracks, finishing me completely with its sharp edges and loose screws twisting at my soul, all i want is to share the feeling of the winter sun on my shoulders and my forehead, hear you say "how are you warm with all that snow on your dashboard?"

the aching of last march:

that night, it was just one night but i could've stayed there forever, basking in my sheets at 4 am, had been sitting there for hours as your voice cracks from talking, talking way too much but never enough, this will stay till the end of time, my hand seemingly only inches away from yours grasping your phone and i wonder if i fall asleep, will the talking in my sleep become your new favorite sound?