NO SIGNAL FOUND [RE-WRITING]

a poem thats ugly

dear my ex best friend of four years who will probably never receive this,

nothing about you screams gorgeous but everything whispers perfectly imperfect. you were always the one who was afraid i'd leave, and now that i'm here, you're gone.

i changed for the better, but there's no one to come home to. think you know someone, then they turn around and surprise you. the feeling of forgetting you tastes like a good nights sleep.

you're like an invisible birthmark, when i turn out the lights, you're there glowing, in the dark like the stars that line my ceiling. (remember when we put them up and counted them twice?)

you're in my mind and on my skin, i'm bare and wounded, all flesh full of scar tissue. begging my mind to let me go to sleep now. back to the same old habits, dig so deep i can't even feel my knees go weak.

never too late to want you back, but by now you've turned the page erasing my name. i'd be stupid to even wonder if you thought about me as i think of you. chased me too many times you probably got sick of it.

and here i am, knocking at your door, no ones answering my calls. i still remember your number and your birthday. i texted you to show you i still care but all i got was a check sign.

they were right, i can't go into these things thinking you'll get something in return. i'm sure if i told you i still love you, id get no response. you'd say it's for the best and i'd say give it a rest.

needing you never seemed to get me far. we used to talk so much, you said you wanted to catch up. i'm waiting, but you haven't caught up yet. i think i'm finished waiting, i'll continue breaking, break down long enough maybe all that will be left is dust.

signed
never to be read

11.22