NO SIGNAL FOUND [RE-WRITING]

nine things i realized tonight

NINE THINGS I REALIZED TONIGHT

1. i can be fine on my own, i can be without you and feel perfectly okay.
(i can be decent on my own, i can be with a tv screen, a few things to keep my mind off of you and feel fine)

2. i'm better at lying than i ever thought i was, even now i can fool myself.
(there's no lie to this, if you can believe me for once, believe this. i've never been truly honest with myself)

3. life isn't for some people, and i might be one of those people, maybe i'm just that person.
(i've started to realize i'm living by this, and funny how i say i'm not that person yet i'm living i'm living)

4. there's a slight chance i'll fall in love with you and by slight i mean 98.7 %
(even when my mind was buzzing about you, it was buzzing about that girl in the street or the guy glancing at me in class)

5. i've never told anyone this but i loved you, i really did.
(i actually did tell you, but in a way you didn't expect, in a 'platonic' way is how i disguised it)

6. late at night, i'll hold something and pretend the scratch of the sheets wrapped around me aren't what they are, i'll pretend they're your arms
(i've never felt your body against mine but if i had the chance, i wouldn't miss it for the world)

7. if there's three things that can get me, it's hands, voices and eyes.
(i think i'm partial to the way our hands fit together perfectly, your voice my own personal melody, your eyes the best kind of scenery i've seen in awhile)

8. time, time scares me. distance is frightening and the end of the world...
(never enough time or maybe too much. distance pushes us apart and sometimes, i'm grateful for that. but the end of the world, it would take a while to get to you, and for that i hate time and distance and everything in between)

9. me without you is like a puzzle made without all the pieces, so i conjure up a different puzzle and pluck you, a random piece. you fit for awhile but now i'm holding on just cause of the fear of being anything less than whole.
(don't get me wrong, we were perfect, perfect for a moment. but the moment has passed and you have to get back and complete your picture, i'm just not in frame)