The Secrecy✔

Chapter 55

Lillian Delmer

"Are you feeling better?" Tina came into the room with a cup of tea. After talking and telling for the whole day, they decided that I should stay here for awhile whereas Tori will obviously stay with Jack. It's about night time and I'm not sleepy yet, so I decide to chill out and relax while stargazing on the veranda.

"Yeah. Thanks!" I smiled at her and she brought a chair to sit near me. We were just sitting there in peaceful silence while enjoying the clear night sky.

"Liz-uh... I mean Lillian..."

I turned to her, wondering what she would say.

"Hmm?"

"What do you think of my brother?" That was unexpected.

"I'm one who is straightforward, but it's OK if you-"

"He is indescribable." I cut her statement with calmness.

"I heard what has happened..."

"I'm sorry that Sam and the others are involved in my problem." I feel very bad. It's all because of me.

"We're here to help you, princess." She gave me a smile.

"Please call me by my name, Lillian."

"Alright. Aren't you going to talk to him?"

"I don't think he wants to meet me since I've been lying to him about everything."

"You know... Remember when I said that someday someone will be able to handle Samuel Parkinson and tame his bossy and pompous attitude? I hope it's you."

"I-It's not me."

"It is. Answer me honestly, if everything is all settled, will you give a chance?"

"He got shot because of me and it will be worse. He deserves better."

"Even though his life is perfect, but... It lacks someone." She turned to me. "Someone who has invented all the new words in his dictionary."

"Tina..." I don't know what to say. It may not be a big deal to others, but to me it is. You don't know how you actually feel when you're not in someone's position even though you understand them. And that's my case. I won't forgive myself if anything happens to him or to anyone I love.

"Trust me, you have changed him. Ever since you have entered his life, you have brought him many new things he had never thought would happen."

"I..."

"He barely has one night stands, almost gone that habit of his. He started to enjoy his work. Although he's a workaholic, for him, it's plain and boring, but that's before."

"I... He... I... You... don't think..."

"You taught him a new word. He has always thought that Love is just a word, it's boring and helpless. To him, it's just infatuation. As well as jealousy, he says that a person with it is careless. In his life, he has never experienced that word, not with anyone." We were looking at the night sky in silence, but Tina started speaking again.

"But you... You make him understand what jealousy can do to people and how it feels. It makes a person go thoughtless and uncontrollable."

I kept quiet. I don't like taking risk for my own good.

"He suddenly asked me to teach him how to play a musical instrument the day after Christmas. For what I have seen, that guy has never touched a guitar or a piano once in his life."

"He's so worried about you." Tina finished talking.

"I'm sure it's just a tiny little crush he has on me. Look at him, he's the guy who goes for smoking hot hourglass models. For me, I'm just a regular potato who hasn't done anything, but lie to him about who I am." I said.

"I'm not going to say anything more. But... Lillian, I know that one day, you'll be more than that." She smiled and went back inside. It's starting to get colder, so I returned back.

I'm not sleepy yet, so I decided to go in the study room and get a good book to read.

There are various books being placed on these tall bookshelves. I went around looking and I have found a book I'd like to read.

Why do things I want to get are always too tall to reach?

I have been jumping, hopping and reaching out to get the book. Suddenly, I felt a presence next to me.

"Nice choice." He took the book easily and gave it to me.

"Thank you." I told him.

"Can we talk?"

"Yes." We went to the sofa and he started speaking whereas I was listening intently.

"Answer me honestly. Do you still have any feelings for Carson?"

"No." I know what he's saying and I'm going to answer truthfully.
I want to say I have feelings for Samuel Parkinson, but I have no courage to do it.

"Why does it seem like you're restraining, Lillian?" He was very serious and me being me, nervous as if my life is done. He knows.

"Pardon?"

"You and Sam."

"I-I don't want to confirm that Carson's assumption is correct. Things will surely get worse if he finds out this is true." If we don't reveal any feelings for one another, Carson won't be easily getting what he wants.

"Alright." He said with a sigh. "It's already late, you should go back to sleep."

"Good night, sir." I told Mr. Lucas and headed back, but not before he said something.

"Do what your heart says."

I kept spacing out the whole journey to the room I'm staying.

What if I have to leave here?

What if he thinks of me as nothing more than a friend and an employee?

What if I meet Carson and talk to him?

Does it really make any changes?

There are so many choices and I will have to choose one. A right one that leads to no one's getting hurt and ends all of this.

Will it be ever too late?

I was staring at the book in my hand while I was walking. The blue cover and the title makes me want to read.

The black and the white speech that have the title of the book in it.

The Fault In Our Stars....

It seems like a sad story, but meaningful.

"Hmph!"

Gosh... I should have looked where I'm going.