Lillian Delmer
Why do I feel like a kid that got caught stealing a lollipop in the store?
I clear my throat and turn around carefully with hesitation. "Yes?"
"Sit!" This one word is so familiar. Oh... Yeah! I usually said it to my dog, Lola! This is exactly how I said it, except this time, I'm the dog.
"What is the problem?"
"Don't pretend, sunshine!" He gave me a triumphant smile. "Don't even try to plan something."
"Huh?"
"Come in!" He calls out and 5 bulky, huge and built guys came in, each wearing a suit. To be completely honest, they look like duplications of Dwayne Johnson and John Cena.
They all came into the room and stood steadily in a line looking all very intimidating and.... Guarded.
"Meet your bodyguards." Sam smirked, witnessing my facial expression which is a jaw drop and saucepan eyes.
"What's the meaning of... all of this?" I swear, even though I'm fairly tall, but I literally look like an ant just by standing near them.
They all introduced themselves to me in a brief of time that I barely remember their name.
"You're all dismissed." They all went out and now I'm left alone with the BO$$ again.
"Sit!"
I sighed because of the doglike treatment I am receiving. Not to mention, everything went like a blur.
"What's wrong?"
"What's wrong? Almost everything." His smirk is now replaced with a visible big frown. "Why didn't you tell me?"
I have always wondered how come he hasn't asked me this whole time and it always frightens me everytime I think about it. But... It never comes and the one day I finally stop thinking, is the day.
"Answer me, Lillian Delmer." He emphasized on my full real name. His expression clearly displays disappointment and hurt.
He seems to be teasing and cocky this morning and now, the person in front is a whole lot different.
"You know why, Sam." We were sharing a silent eye contact.
"Won't you mind explaining it?" The fun, cocky and pompous guy is gone.
"I don't want to include other people in my problem."
"Well, you already did." He looked me in the eye, although his sentence did hurt my feelings.
"Look, I feel terrible that everyone is involved in this and I'd love to turn back time and exclude each one of you from my problem, if I could."
"Why didn't? Why did you have to tell me when it's in the nick of time? Don't you trust me?" I can tell he is very upset and it hurts me as well.
The last question did turn my tongue hard.
"Of course, I do!"
"Then why didn't you tell me?! At least, you should have told me, so that I could help you!"
"What's the point talking about it now?! You already know!" I'm starting to feel both angry and sad at the same time.
"The point is you clearly lied to me about yourself since the day we met!"
"WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY NOW?!" Tears are about to spill, but they don't.
"To tell me the truth why you didn't tell me!"
"I already told you! I don't want anyone to be in my problem, but eventually it did happen!"
"You knew that Ledwell is also the cause of my problem since the beginning we talked about him! Has it ever come to mind that when you tell me, I will be able to help?! Now everything is at risk!"
"What do you want me to do then?! I lie to you all, I bring my own problems and danger to everyone! Should I do the same thing I have done?! Maybe I should have left without a trace like before. Maybe I should have changed my identity again and moved to another place after I know Carson finds out about me. MAYBE I SHOULDN'T HAVE COME TO NEW YORK. I'D LOVE TO TAKE EVERYONE OUT OF MY LIFE IN ORDER TO SAVE THEM!"
Tears just didn't fall. It hurts.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU DO IT THEN?! I'M NOT ANGRY ABOUT YOU BRINGING PROBLEMS TO US. I'M DAMN UPSET ABOUT YOU NOT TELLING ME WHO YOU TRULY ARE, LILLIAN! DO YOU KNOW WHY?! I HAD TO GO FOR AN INVESTIGATION ON YOU SINCE THE INFORMATION ABOUT YOU IS SO LITTLE. I DON'T EVEN ALLOW MYSTERIOUS PEOPLE IN MY OFFICE OR MY LIFE. I HAVE ALWAYS TOLD MYSELF TO NOT BEFRIEND YOU." His eyes show pain and disappointment.
"BUT, I DIDN'T DO THAT! INSTEAD OF BEING CAREFUL AND KEEPING MY WALLS UP LIKE ALWAYS, I BEFRIENDED YOU AND THOUGHT THAT ONE DAY, YOU WILL OPEN UP AND SHOW ME WHO YOU TRULY ARE! BUT EVEN THOUGH YOU DID GRADUALLY TALK TO ME, EVENTUALLY I FOUND OUT THAT EVERYTHING WAS JUST A LIE." He painfully justified. I know how much he is hurting, so am I. "THE ONLY GIRL I THOUGHT WOULD BE SOMEONE CLOSE TO ME TURNED OUT TO BE SO FAR AWAY. THE ONLY GIRL THAT I THOUGHT WOULDN'T BE LYING AND FINALLY BEFRIENDED ME GENUINELY, NOT LIKE THE OTHERS WHO ARE JUST AFTER MY FAME AND FORTUNE."
He lowered his voice and took a deep breath.
"The only girl who thinks I'm also special to her like she is to me."
I don't know what's worse. My beating heart, my shaking legs, the butterflies in my stomach or the fact that I can't speak.
"I thought that you could trust me and tell me everything. Your problems or not, you know I can help you in every possible way that I can. BUT YOU DIDN'T DO THAT. IF YOU'RE JUST LYING TO ME AND DON'T WANT TO GET ANYONE IN DANGER OR INVOLVED IN YOUR PROBLEM, WHY DIDN'T YOU CHOOSE TO DO THE SAME THING LIKE BEFORE?!"
Although the words he has said makes my heart flutters, but at the same time, it's like stabbing my heart and then adding acid to it to destroy it more.
Even though, I'm still slightly shaking, but my sense is still working and every word he just said angers me.
"You know why I didn't go with that decision? Do you know why I've changed my mind?!" This is enough for one day. After I told him why, I hope he understands. If I'm here and witnessing him getting hurt and feeling betrayed by me, it will only hurt the both of us more.
"WHY THEN?!"
"THAT'S BRCAUSE I CARE, SAMUEL. I FUCKING CARE ABOUT EVERYONE HERE. I REALIZED THAT I SHOULD STOP RUNNING AWAY! EVERY PLACE I HAD STAYED, I HAD TO LEAVE EVERY SINGLE PERSON I MAKE FRIENDS WITH, WITHOUT A SINGLE TRACE OR A SINGLE CLUE. I LEFT THEM LIKE DEATH GREETS EVERY HUMAN." One tear finally slipped away. "BUT THIS TIME, I CHOSE TO STAY, EVEN THOUGH I KNOW I WILL BRING EVERYONE IN DANGER AND HAVE TO LIE ABOUT MYSELF MY WHOLE LIFE IF CARSON HADN'T FOUND ME."
My vision is blurry and I can't face him anymore.
"I KNOW I WAS BEING SELFISH. TO THINK ABOUT MYSELF AND INVOLVE OTHERS IN MY PROBLEM AND PUT THEM IN DANGER. I FEEL LIKE MYSELF WHEN I'M HERE. I FEEL LIKE I AM LILLIAN DELMER AND NOT LIZ COLLINS."
I looked up and stared into his deep blue eyes when I finally said my final statement before I left the room with tears falling off endlessly and rushed to the room I'm currently staying without stepping outside the room the whole day.
"I didn't leave and chose to be selfish, just to stay with everyone who is like my family, especially... the person who is very special to me."
YOU ARE READING
The Secrecy✔
General Fiction"JERK!" She gritted her teeth angrily, bursting out at her bossy boss in front of her. Samuel Parkinson The tablets reckon him as the young and archetype of a successful businessman in the States as well as being one of the youngest billionair...
