Guarded || (Soryu) KBTBB Fanfic || First book in the Guard series

Lost

I felt lost. Soryu was gone, just like that. Tears welled up in my eyes for the umpteenth time since early afternoon. Just thinking about him made me want to cry because with his image in my mind the next thought in line was that I'd never see him again. I closed my eyes and bury my left cheek into the pillow he'd slept on last night; it still smelled like him.
My mind replayed every second I spent with him this morning and when I think about his embrace or the sweet kisses he gave me my body warms, as if he was with me now, giving me the embrace I very much needed. I convinced myself he was here with me now and sat up, pulling his pillow into my lap and holding it tightly.
"I'm so sorry Soryu, I love you," I spoke out to the empty room but it didn't reply.
Get up. Soryu wouldn't want you wallowing around. This isn't helping anyone.
I sniffled one last time and used the sleeve of my jumper to wipe my tear stained cheeks before trudging into the en suite bathroom. I stopped in front of the mirror and looked at the reflection of a shattered girl.
I was pale, my eyes swollen and tired from hours of crying, my nose red and irritated from constant sniffing and blowing and my hair was now a tangled mess. My raw emotions hit me like a ten tonne truck and it showed; I hadn't felt this heart broken since my mother. With a dip down I splashed my face with some cool running water, it did little to wash away my depressed thoughts though and even less to wipe away the pulsing headache that had come on since walking into the bathroom. I reached for the box of Paracetamol in the top drawer and took two with large gulps of water to ease the throbbing.
My body then went into autopilot and began to run a bath, in just a few minutes the room steamed up and I climbed into the tub. A sigh escaped my lips as I tried to relax in the water, this reminded me of a few months ago when I'd found out about Riley and Soryu helped me through my breakdown by running us a bath and just sitting holding me. I wish I had that now.
I went through the routine of washing my hair and body before pulling myself out and quickly drying off to avoid getting too cold. My eyes scanned the wardrobe, I'd already taken out a pair of soft black tracksuit bottoms and now I just needed a top to sleep in.
"Hm," I pressed my lips together when the clothes I was pushing around on the rack changed from belonging to me to belonging to Soryu. I stopped at a green shirt he often wore to sleep in and gently tug it off of it's hanger. Just as expected the soft fabric swamped me but that's what made me love it even more. Like this morning with Soryu's dress shirt I brought the collar to my nose and drew in a deep breath. I wanted to bottle that scent, actually I didn't have to because it already was.
I quickly finished off dressing and then go into the bathroom to put on some of Soryu's signature cologne. I get into his side of the bed and kiss my ring that glistened and sparkled in the soft silvery glow of the moonlight.
"Goodnight baby, I love you more than you would ever have known. I wish I would have told you that sooner," I spoke to his ring as if it were him, I had so much regret for all the things I didn't do or say to him, last night was the first time we said 'I love you' and now... now I could never tell him again, I couldn't hear him say it to me ever again. I missed my chance to truly express to him what he meant to me.
     I knew I was in love with Soryu since we rescued him and Kishi from the police, that seemed like forever ago now and yet I didn't tell him sooner. I had so many chances and I wasted them all.
     I drifted off with that thought.
     In the morning I stretched upwards and rolled over to face the other side of the bed, my smile fades when I realized that yesterday wasn't just a lucid nightmare; it was my cruel reality. I closed my eyes to briefly imagine Soryu laying beside me before I sat up. Taking a deep breath I rubbed my eyes and reached across to the nightstand where my MacBook sat. It was currently 6:45am which made it 3:45pm back home.
     Impatiently, I waited for Ichinomiya to answer the video call.
     "Alexis?"
     "Ichinomiya, " I addressed him and he frowned slightly, sensing something was amiss.
     "What's wrong? You look upset, did something happen?" he questioned in concern and I just shook my head then brought my hands to hide the fact I'd begun to cry again. Ichinomiya must've been taken aback by the sight of me because he didn't make a sound. "Alexis, talk to me. What happened?" The sound of Ichinomiya's told me he felt uncomfortable Nd wasn't quite sure how to react but I appreciated him trying. I took a  deep breath to calm myself down then wiped my tears.
     "My father, he killed Soryu," I told him tearfully. Just saying it out loud hurt. Ichinomiya's expression changed from that of a concerned one to shock and even pain. In the months that they'd known each other he and Soryu had grown close, although neither would admit it.
     "No.." he shook his head in denial.
     "My father has arranged a marriage between Roy Thompson Junior and I but I refused and he found out about Soryu and I being together. Yesterday morning they went out, my father said he was going to reconsider the marriage but he didn't return home, my father killed him. Ichinomiya, I need to tell everyone; they need to know and I need to think of a way out of this." He sat back and ran his fingers through his hair. The sound of a door opening drifted to me through the speakers and I heard Baba's distant voice.
     "Oh," he stops himself from saying whatever he'd come in to say, the surprise in his voice from seeing Eisuke looking any amount distressed was evident. "Eisuke, is everything alright?" I heard him ask with concern but Ichinomiya shook his head, switched his now sad light brown eyes to the screen and sighed heavily.
    "Could you please bring Ota, Mamoru, Shuichi, Luke, Hikaru and Evie in here. Alexis has something she needs to tell everyone," he ordered Baba in a sad tone and I'm sure Baba knew what was coming wasn't good. I massaged my temples then tied my hair into a low ponytail. I could see in the box containing my reflection that I looked a mess and although I was never one to be unprofessional I didn't care right now. This was my family.
     "It's okay, we're going to figure this all out," Ichinomiya reassured me the best he could just moments before the door opened and several footsteps followed. I took a deep shaky breath, this was going to be so hard on everyone, especially Evie I knew she saw Soryu as a father figure and even though it was out of his comfort zone he always seemed to make her happy. "Here you go," he prepared me then turned the laptop over to face everyone I held dearest to me.
     "Lexi!" Evie waved her little hand excitedly while leaning towards the screen but Baba carefully pulled her back to his side so that she didn't fall.
     "Hello sweetheart," I gave her a weak smile and waved back.
     "Is that Soryu's shirt?" Aihara interjected and I looked down at it briefly.
     "It is, and I have some bad news to deliver. Soryu's gone. My father took him to an unknown location yesterday morning under the guise of getting to know him a little better and killed him." Everyone's face fell, Evies reaction broke my heart the most though. Although they were all standing a little back from the camera I knew she was crying the second she gasped and buried her face deep into Baba's neck. We'd all bonded so well over the months and grief showed by their emotions.
     "He couldn't... Why?" Ota asked and I gulped.
     "My father brought me here to announce my arranged marriage to Roy Thompson Junior, my refusal angered him and then he found out that Soryu and I were together. I think that made him realize he needed to get rid of him. He told us he was going to reconsider the engagement but he wanted to get to know Soryu first."
     "That bastard," Kishi muttered angrily.
     "Marriage? You can't leave us, Princess." Baba cut in while trying to comfort Evie by stroking her hair.
     "I won't. He can't take everything from me. I'm going to find a way to stop this." I promised them and they nodded solemnly.
     "Is there anything we can do?" Hishikura asked gently.
     "Unfortunately there is not, but I will call and give updates when I can. I'm so sorry this is the news I had to bring to you all."
     "Oh Princess," Baba sighed and I knew he hated hearing the pain in my voice- Baba always wanted everyone to be happy.
     "I'd like to speak to Evie alone please if you all don't mind," everyone understood my request and respectively nodded before leaving, Eisuke left the room with them and Baba took Evie around to sit at the chair on the other side of the desk. With the camera now turned and pulled closer to see her I could see just how much this news affected her. Baba said goodbye then left as well. "Evie..."
     "Why did Soryu have to go mommy?" she asked through her tears and sniffles.
     Mommy?
     This was the first time she'd called me that and despite the circumstances it made me smile. "I cant tell you honey because there is no sane reason behind George's actions but I want you to know that Soryu loved you so much, he saw you as his own and all he ever wanted to do was protect you and make you happy." I thought back to the nights he came back to me chuckling at something silly and childish she'd do or say and it warmed my heart. "I'm going to come home as soon as I can and I'm going to give you the biggest hug, I swear to you that I will come home to you, do you understand?" She wiped her eyes and nodded feebly.
     "Please don't leave me too, mommy." Hearing her say that filled me with determination. She was only young and she'd been put through so much trauma already, I wouldn't allow myself to hurt her too.
     "I'm not going anywhere, I love you and I will always take care of you and keep you safe," I swore to her and she wiped her eyes.
     "I love you too," she whispered before hanging her head. Loud knocks drew my attention up from the screen and my eyes widened. No one could know about Evie, I had no doubts that my father would have her killed if he knew about her.
     "I have to go, I'll speak to you soon," I said quickly in a quite voice before snapping my laptop closed and going to answer the door.

~~~

Ouch. It's okay though, not even I need a heart apparently.
     Don't hate me.
     Instead show me some love by giving this chapter a vote and comment, everything helps and share this book with the world, I'd really appreciate it.
     I really hope you enjoyed this extra long and extra heartbreaking chapter.

I have to go but I'll speak to you soon ;),
XOX

Published: 17/12/1
Edited: 11/1/18