How do we escape our demons?
How do we control them, and not let them get their way.
How do we control a monster within our head.
How do we stop giving the monster leverage, and gain control.
Giving the monster fuel is the worst thing you can do, trust me, I've done it.
When we collapse to the floor and scream, can anyone save me from myself. That is when we need the help...we need friends, family, counselors and teachers, People like me, who have this disease known as depression, we need help. But not many people help us because they think that we are just trying to get attention.
There are people at school who "CUT" just for attention. And when i first started cutting, that's what people thought i was doing. But no, i was trying to feel, and i didn't want anyone to know that i was so weak.
Because that's when people take advantage of you, and push you until you break. I was this was for about from 2 years ago, until right now. I have never cut to deep but it was the fact that i did it that hurt me the most. Then my friends found out, because i couldn't hold it in anymore, so i told them, and my mm...my friends were the only ones who took it seriously...my mom and whole family, to this day. They make fun of me for it. Yeah i know that's not right. But they are assholes and try to feed ff of negative attention. And they fucking accuse me of feeding off of negative attention.
Why would i be writing this if i was trying to feed off of negative attention? All i need is conformation that some people in this world care about me. That's why i put my feelings in here. Because i know there are people who think the same way. Look at Chester Bennington for an example...in an interview he told us that he was depressed, and none of us did anything...we thought he was just stating it, not asking for help.
"For anyone who is reading this, if anyone...I am trying to get help, from a counselor that is really awesome...he gets me, and has been in my shoes s i can share a lot about my life with him...from abuse to mental abuse, to self harm...he has agreed with me, not to tell anyone unless i am gonna end my life. Which is kinda cool, being how my mom has threatened to put me in a hospital is i ever cut again."
But honestly i don't wanna end it just yet, because i am my grandmas only blood related family member left...my dad died 8 years ago and my dads brother disowned my grandma. All because my grandmas stupid drunk ass fucking husband (At the time) Shot and killed my father, On Christmas night 2008. And my little sister looks up to me a lot, and my big sister has depression too, so it would probably end her as well if i actually killed myself.
#FUCKDEPRESSION
YOU ARE READING
A Fight With Depression
Historia Corta(Trigger Warnings) Do not read if you are bothered by reading very real everyday senarios such as suicide, self harm, and other things that tend to mend with having most mental illnesses. This book is a different book where every chapter is a short...
