People in this world point out that Suicide is such a sin. But isn't it our destiny to Die anyways. Life as a human is rather boring don't you think? Were born. Then we go to school for 12 years. And after those 12 years we can choose to go to up to 8 more years of college. Then after that, you have a job until the age of about 65 where you can retire and collect retirement money. But if your someone with my life. Where I have seen how fragile life actually is. I have been whitens my fathers murder. And now I have been through my aunts murder. And now on top of this all. My right kidney is swelling up for an unknown reason even too the doctors at this point. My life suuucks. I had Bronchitis a few months ago, And also a usually fatal lung infection that can kill most people with it. I think I might have that infection again. I've been bucking hay for a few days and I've been inhaling too much dust and mold from the hay. So my lung is now really weak and hurting again. It honestly feels like an endless battle for my own life. Why not just give FATE what it wants and just end myself. It'd be way easier on my family. With metical bills and such. My insurance will run out on September 30th 2 days after my 19th birthday. And I won't get it back until November 1st. And with me internally dying. I can't help but think; what if something else happens. I'm not wasting my families money. They already think I'm wasting their gas money when they take me to the doctors about every 2 weeks for more testing. I just honestly don't care anymore. Its not like anyone will miss me anyways.
"This Love, This Hate" by Hollywood Undead
In a time of need only few can see what's wrong
Millions tend to crawl but only those who choose can make it through this all,
Only few can sing like lions 'cause we sing until we're gone
And we've got each others backs until we're back where we belong,
A woman held my shield and through the battle we did wrong,
A man who taught me wisdom through the static we recall,
And maybe when we' re gone our names will echo through the stars,
Every start's got it's ending even when we've learned to rise above it all,
[Chorus:]
These lies are leading me astray its too much for me to stay
I don't wanna live this destiny it goes on endlessly
I see you so please stay strong
I'll sing you one last song and then I'm gone
I don't wanna live this destiny it goes on endlessly
And we once also had a story too
You can see that good men only come in few.
Even in our greatest moments we may win or we may lose
Every song's got its rules, you've got to learn to make it through.
Maybe one day we can choose how it feels to be a woman or a man
Without rules but buried underneath there's a picture glued.
So when my body burns in ashes only sing the truth
Let these words strengthen all your views
Because these words were meant for you
[Chorus]
An' now I'm floatin' right above my coffin as it closes I look down
I see sigh as she's crying on my mamma's shoulder.
I look up into the sky as the gates to heaven open something's wrong
Is this destiny or am I goin' home,
What will happen to my soul will I come back I don't know,
Will you meet me when its over let me know,
You can meet me here in heaven don't you ever let me go
This love this hate is burning me away
[Chorus]
This love, this hate is burning me away
YOU ARE READING
A Fight With Depression
Short Story(Trigger Warnings) Do not read if you are bothered by reading very real everyday senarios such as suicide, self harm, and other things that tend to mend with having most mental illnesses. This book is a different book where every chapter is a short...
