home to you: a blackbear fanfiction

the car ride

              The next few days were the best I had had in a long time, surrounded by those I loved and isolated from the chaos of my life in Los Angeles. I did stereotypical Christmas things, decorating the tree and drinking hot chocolate. Matthew and I were able to put aside our differences, wrapped up in the Christmas spirit and rememberance of years past, and I couldn't remember the last time I saw him this at ease. 

           It was the twenty third, and Mat and I were laying on the couch under a blanket, watching Four Christmases. It was one of my favorite Christmas movies, and though Mat thought it was stupid and cheesy, he watched anyways, cuddled up to me and drinking his apple cider. It had begun to rain almost an hour prior and it beat down on the roof, trapping the whole family inside. The boys were down in the basement watching the Cowboys game, Andrea was in her room working on a Spanish project, and mom and Amber were sitting on the couch with Matthew and I. Amber and I were engaging in a conversation about her new boyfriend, a handsome dentist named Landon who she met at the coffee shop downtown. She was showing me pictures of him on her phone when Mat tapped me on the arm. I held up my hand to show him to wait, and scrolled through the pictures, nodding approvingly. Matthew grabbed my arm tightly. "Hold on." I continued my conversation with Amber, asking whether or not I would get to meet Landon while I was in town. Once again, Mat interrupted. "Ashton." "What Mat? Can't  you see I'm talking?" "I don't feel well, we need to go to the hospital, now."

             I looked over at him, sweat beating down his face and his hands shaking slightly. Amber and mom both began to panic. I had told them that Matthew was sick, but now they were witnessing it, and it was more than either of them could handle. However, I tried to keep my calm, standing up from the couch and holding Mat's hand, helping him up as well. "Okay, c'mon let's go. Mom, can we take the mini van?" "Of course sweetie, I'll come with." She grabbed her purse and jammed her feet into her tennis shoes without bothering to tie them or put on socks. I'd rather her stay here, but I had neither the time nor the energy to argue, so I grabbed the keys from her, heading out to the garage. 

             Matthew trailed behind me slowly and I helped him into the passenger seat of the mini van that my mom had owned for more than a decade. I backed out of the thin driveway and drove through the neighborhood far above the speed limit. "I think I'm gonna be sick." Mat informed me with no emotion in his voice. I looked frantically around and handed him a Chick-fil-a bag that had been left on the floorboard. He almost immediately threw up into it. My mother stayed quiet in the backseat, knowing I couldn't tolerate her right now. 

               Matthew looked so helpless, tears running down his cheeks and his shaky hands gripping the bag. "You'll be okay baby." I reassured him, wanting to convince myself that that was true. "I don't know Ash, I've never felt like this. I think I might be dying." My mother went into full panic mode now, placing her hand on Mat's shoulder. "You'll be just fine sweetie, we're just a few minutes from the hospital." She didn't understand the seriousness of the situation, that he truly could be dying, but I didn't mention it, taking the exit towards the hospital that I knew so well. It was the place where I was born and where I got my appendix removed when I was thirteen. Matthew struggled to take deep breaths, putting the bag down and wrapping his arms around his stomach. "He's okay, right Ashton?" My mom asked as if I were a doctor. "I don't know mom, please be quiet." I hated to snap at her but I was more scared now than I could ever remember being. Mat reached out one of his clammy hands and placed it on my thigh. "Ash, I love you." "Stop it." I said coldly, knowing he was saying it because he believed it may be the last time he was able to. "Seriously, I love you. When we get to the hospital, call my mom. I want to see her before-" "You're not going to die Mat." I started to cry, parking in the hospital parking lot. My good time with the boy I loved was once again ruined, as his health and the time we had left together were put into question.