home to you: a blackbear fanfiction

the beginning of the end

          I want to say that  everything with Matt was always perfect, but that would be a lie. We were both hardheaded and stubborn, and though  we loved each other more than anything, getting along was always difficult. However, never did I think of leaving. I couldn't imagine my life without Matt in it, not until that day. 

           It was April, and we had be been engaged just over six months. It was a Friday night, and we went out partying with his friends. We were both drunk, but around one when I wanted to leave, Matt refused. I asked for the keys to the car, and he told me he wanted to stay and wanted me to stay and hang out with him. He and his friends were being rowdy and obnoxious. I was never one for the party scene, and we had been partying more and more recently. It was another hour before we left, and I refused to speak to him on the way home. He fussed that I don't know how to have a good time, and that I stress too much. I was barely listening, a headache already forming as the car pulled into our driveway. We had just recently bought a house, and it had several bedrooms, so I informed Matthew that I would be sleeping in one of our guestrooms. 

           That didn't make Matt very happy, and he hated not getting his way. He told me to stop acting childish and head up to bed. I shot back by pointing out the increased partying we had been doing, and how Matthew only seemed happy when he was drunk or high. This led to a full blown argument. We didn't fight often, but when we did, the screaming could last for hours and the anger could last for days. Tonight was even worse, as we were both heavily intoxicated. It was only a few minutes before I was in tears, and a few minutes after that before we had our hands on each other. I pushed Matt and he grabbed my wrist, trying to reason with me. The dog hid under the kitchen table as we continued to fight, blaming each other for things that had no importance. In the midst of all of the tears and yelling, Matthew slapped me across the face, causing me to stumble backwards. 

          I placed my hand on my cheek in disbelief and Matt's hands began to shake as he approached me, suddenly aware of what he had done. "Ash..." he put his arms out to embrace me in a hug but I quickly turned my back on him. "Don't. I'm going to bed."

           I cried myself to sleep that night. I never imagined it could get this bad, and I was only able to calm down by promising myself that things could never be worse than they were in that moment. I had no idea what was to come in the upcoming months, all leading up to October  9th.