Atama ✓ tk

三

Hello,

We haven't talked for a while. I needed some time to think, to rethink and then fill myself with doubt. I have a hundred written pages sprawled across the floor. And I thought that I had found something, marked between the lines. But the words never sounded right and I guess I needed more. The conclusion always stayed the same and it never fitted me right. After every struggle, making it through the day still feels like the same old fight.

And even though you're buried ten feet underneath the ground. I hope that you did at least cherish the happiness that you had found. My letters are piling up and I think the other graves complain. But I know they are just jealous cause I still love you like I did yesterday.

I'm sorry for being me. I'm sorry for being a Jeon.

(One week later)

Taehyung wheeled into the mansion with his leg wrapped up as if it belonged in a sarcophagus. It cost him a lot of energy to move around like this, but he declined every friendly offer the maids gave him. His father had left for a business trip last night, much to his and Taehyung's dismay. Taehyung's father painted for a living and every chance he got to display his art in museums was taken immediately. That's why he had decided to leave Taehyung's care in the maids' hands for time being.

Taehyung's mother had been born from a rich family, that's why they could afford to live in this beautiful mansion on the country side. When she died, her money had gone to Taehyung's father, who still grieved her death to this day.

Jungkook had been given a free day since he wasn't in the right state of mind after the accident. Even though no one really understood just why he had reacted so heavily, they still cared for the gardener and gave him some time.

Taehyung realized the gardener had been avoiding him since the day he had come back from the hospital. He wasn't sure why, but he thought Jungkook just wasn't fond of people in general so didn't bother Jungkook any more than necessary.

But when Taehyung wanted to get to his room, which was in the attic, and with no father to carry him there, he decided that the only man left in the house was Jungkook. He didn't want to bother the maids with his weight because they weren't really the youngest of people anymore. The youngest maid was named Mary and they had celebrated her 47h birthday a few months ago.

No, he couldn't ask them for this favor. So that left him with Jungkook as his only option.

He spotted the gardener sitting on one of the benches that were placed inside of the garden. He seemed to be on a break, unbuttoning his flannel which showed off his black top which he wore underneath.

Taehyung gulped when he neared the gardener, averting his gaze from the obvious muscles that stood out from underneath the tight shirt.

"Jungkook?", he mumbled, looking down at his lap, almost bumping his leg against the bench because he couldn't get the wheelchair to stop immediately.

"Yes?", the older asked, anxiety had already started filling his body once he saw the younger nearing him. He really didn't want to be around the younger but he did work for him, so avoiding him was pointless after all.

"I um- want to go to my room since I still have a bunch of homework to finish, but I have difficulties getting upstairs so I was wondering- If you uh- could um carry me to my room?", he asked, his cheeks flushing red at the embarrassing request.

To Jungkook, this sounded like hell. Not the fact he would be carrying a pretty boy upstairs- no, he didn't even think about such things. Just the fact that he would be in charge of someone's safety. He couldn't possibly do this. He could drop the boy, accidently hit his leg against something,... the bad endings were endless and Jungkook didn't want any of them to happen.

"I-I don't think that's a good idea", he finally replied after an awkward silence, "Can't you just walk up?"

"I don't have that much strength in my legs or arms for that", Taehyung mumbled, remembering his father telling him not to take the stairs alone. He had refused and had fallen down after the fifth step. He hated feeling weak, but that was what he was. "Please Jungkook, it's just two staircases and I know you are strong".

"I could drop you", Jungkook blurted out, stuffing his trembling hands into his pockets, "Or bump into things".

"I would still forgive you Jungkook", the brunette replied, "Just- please- I won't ask you again".

Knowing he was only saddening Taehyung even more, Jungkook complied, following Taehyung to the bottom of the stairs. He helped Taehyung out of the wheelchair, and crouched down so Taehyung could jump on his back. Taehyung wasn't that tall for his age so the older had to crouch down very low so Taehyung could cling on the best he could. He also couldn't really jump because of his leg.

"You good?", he asked and heard Taehyung murmur a small 'yeah'. He began walking on the stairs, quickly beginning the second staircase. He felt Taehyung tightening his legs around his hips and linking his hands around his shoulders, afraid he might slip off. Jungkook finally made it to the top and followed Taehyung's directions to his room, letting him slip off his back and onto the bed.

"Thank you Jungkook", Taehyung beamed, though embarrassment quickly filled his body when he spared his room one glance.

Jungkook didn't pay much attention to the bright decorated room of the younger and bid him a goodbye, before descending down the stairs, this time with much less fear.

Taehyung's head was tilted a little to the left as he stared wide eyes at the doorway that Jungkook had walked through. He then looked at the floor that was littered with coloring books, his playmobile city and the tea party he had thrown for his stuffies the other day. All the things he had forgotten/hadn't bothered to clean up were there on the floor.

And he wondered why Jungkook hadn't looked at him the way people would normally look at him when they found out.