Atama ✓ tk

三十八

If you have read sinners never sleep
then don't forget to watch the video above
(it made me cry and weep)
and give the maker lots of love

The boys had shoved the food to the side when their tummies were filled and their bodies were tired and warm by stuffing their faces with too much food to handle. Now they were cuddled up against each other on the blanket, watching the sun set behind the hills in the west. The stars appeared one by one when the sun moved away more and more. Taehyung smiled as he held Jungkook's hand, guiding him to where the North Star was situated. He giggled once his boyfriend got excited by finding the brightest star, keeping his finger pointed to said star so he wouldn't lose it.

"Jungkook", the younger asked, breaking the once comfortable silence after they were done stargazing.

The older hummed, playing with Taehyung's fingers that were intertwined with his.

"You know I'm a curious boy", the younger began, thinking this might be the right moment, "And I know you promised to tell me about your past but if you don't want to anymore then I totally understand. But I realized- I never told you about myself so I feel like I should".

Jungkook glanced at his boyfriend, seeing how the other had his eyes closed and a content smile on his pretty face. This made him smile himself and stare back at the starry sky, waiting for the other to continue.

"You remember when we first met? You told me it was bad wearing such a thick coat when it was warm out? And then you told me I looked like a ten year old". He chuckled at the memory. "And you might have been wondering why I've been acting so childish all the time. You've never judged me for it, something most people would do since an eighteen year old should be mature already". He looked at the precious man laying beside him who had never spoken a harsh word to him & never judged him for anything. "And I really appreciate you for that. But I never told you why and I think when you're in a relationship you need to know a lot about the other".

Jungkook turned his head and caught the other's soft gaze. They both smiled at each other and the older squeezed the other's hand in reassurance making the other sigh softly and turn back at the sky.

"I told you I never got to know my mom right? Well that's because my mom died giving birth to me. There were some complications during her pregnancy and the doctors had told my parents that the chances of my survival were very low. They advised them to break off the pregnancy when they still had the chance since it was still possible. But my parents were willing to give me a chance. Getting an abortion would be guaranteed to me dying, and there was still a chance I could survive. So my parents refused and were willing to wait and see how it'd turn out".

"But they hadn't expected that the complications I was having could also affect my mom. She was brought into the hospital six weeks before her due date and was told that her baby was about to be born. They had no idea if I would make it since it was way too soon for her to go into labor. Though my mom got into a labor and four hours later I was there. But sadly my mom wasn't. My father got the news that his son was alive but that his wife had passed away giving birth to the baby", Taehyung said, closing his eyes at the ever reoccurring thought that he had killed his mom. It was his fault she was dead now. But he refused to cry and continued with a slightly wavering voice, "I was stuck in the hospital in an incubator for a few weeks until my father was allowed to take me home. Being a prematurity baby comes along with a few issues such as having difficulties maintaining body heat aka being cold all the time as you have noticed already. I have higher risks getting sick, that's why I always wear thick clothing even though everyone thinks that it's warm out".