Clace (Liberty High School) (Completed)

18. The Talk

Jace

"Jace, I'm fine, really. I.....don't want to put you out," Red whispers. My whole body shudders when she whispers. Damn why does Red have to be so hot! I wonder what her lips taste like. I wish she would just give me a chance.

"Red, will you please listen to me. I'm the one who offered," I reply. "All of those things you said about yourself earlier, please don't think they're true." If only Red could see herself like I do and understand she's truly beautiful. If she saw herself like that, she'd never think any of those horrible and not true things.

"Jace, it's okay," Red replies quietly. "You don't have to lie to make me feel better."

Why can't she see it! "Red, I'm not lying. I had this huge science test today and I didn't really want to go to school anyway," I joke and laugh. Honestly, I don't have anything important to do in school, but if the shoe fits.

"If you're sure," Red teases.

Okay, she's just driving me nuts now! I've got to change the topic. "Izzy's long gone by now. I'll be right back, okay?" I ask for confirmation. "Oh, and I'm taking all of the razors and sharp objects with me," I half-joke.

"I'll be okay," Red replies. I go into the closet and grab the first-aid kit. As I'm approaching the room, I hear Red mumbling, "What is wrong with you?" over and over again. I make sure my shoes make a loud noise as I approach the bathroom, so Red knows I'm back. She stops mumbling immediately.

Then, I realize her wound will require her to remove her shirt. "Red, I know this is kinda.....awkward, but I'm going to....need you to.....I have to....your shirt....it's....I....your shirt is....it's just your arm is bleeding and I can't....properly clean the part above where your shirt sleeve will go," I manage.

"Oh, I...I...grab a body towel. You can turn around while I take....my shirt...off, and then I'll wrap the towel with my arms on the outside," Red awkwardly explains.

"Yeah, okay I'll grab a towel," I reply and reach into the bathroom closet for a body towel, only to find it empty. Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! What are we gonna do now! "Uh....Red, there aren't any towels in the closet." Red must've used them all when she was here last. Why didn't you remember to refill them? You're the organized one. Come on! I see a look of horror in her eyes. Make it better! I swiftly take off my shirt and hand it to her. "Here, I'll turn around, just cover yourself with our shirts, like a makeshift towel." She does as instructed as I turn around. Don't peek this time. Those scars will only make you mad and that won't help anything or anyone!

"Okay....I'm covered," Red whispers. I turn around and kneel down to address her wound. I find some antiseptic wipes and clean the cut out. She winces a litttle, and I find some gauze and wrap a layer around her little arm. She refuses to look at me the entire time. I find an ace wrap and when I apply it, she puts her hand on mine and I stop dead in my tracks. What is she doing! Why is she touching my hand. Calm down! "Can you make it a little less tight? I really hurts when you have it that tight."

"Yeah, sorry Red," I manage. Breathe Jace. That was just a hey friend be more careful touch, nothing else. As I continue to bandage her, she smiles at me. I can't help but smile back. Suddenly  I ask, "Why did you do it?" Why did you just ruin that! She was all comfortable and happy and okay and you just ruined it!

"I...wanted the pain to go away," Red whispers and bites her lip. Don't even get me started!

"Pain?" I ask.

"Jace, I knew something was wrong in the closet and I know you didn't want to be in there with me. It....just hurt that you didn't want to be close to me." You have NO idea how close to you I wanted to be. "I mean, I get it. I'm not exactly....you know.....appealing." How can she think of herself like that?! "I thought we were friends. I didn't realize how disgusted you were. I just hurt so much and I didn't know what to do," Red explains.

"I....I'm the reason you hurt yourself...I.. I did this to you....Red....I....I didn't mean to hurt you," I stutter. "I...I wasn't comfortable in the closet because I'm a freak. It had nothing to....it wasn't your....You didn't do anything, it was all me."

"I thought....it was my scars, my ugliness. I thought it was my fault, that you just left. Like maybe I said something wrong. Maybe.....maybe the intensity of wh.......wha...what....I told you about my......it finally kicked in," I try.

"Red, how many times do I have to tell you that the only person I have negative thoughts, feelings, etc. for are...the people that hurt you?" I ask.

"Jace, it's okay. I know I am-" Red begins, but I interrupt her, trying to show her I'm being honest. I put my finger on her lip, and I pull her closer to me. Carefully, I lean towards her, waiting for her to protest. I caress her cheek with my hand. Staring in her Emerald green eyes, I see something I cannot recognize, but it isn't fear. (Author's Note: what do you think she's feeling? Please comment with your ideas!) I make sure she isn't afraid. When she doesn't move away, I decide to gently brush my lips against hers, just like I'd thought of numerous times before.

○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○

I do not own any of the Mortal Instruments books, materials, etc. All credit belongs to Cassandra Clare.

Author's Note:
This is my first fanfic. I hope you guys like it! Please leave comments, votes, and feedback. I'm going to update, when I'm done and it'll be random.

Originally posted: 1/13/18