Clace (Liberty High School) (Completed)

7. The Talk

Jace

Red stirs and looks at me. "Hey, thanks for helping me," Red says.

"No problem," I smile and hand her, her pajamas.

"Please turn around, so I can give you your pants and shirt back," Red awkwardly asks.

"Oh, yeah, sorry," I reply. I turn around. I can't help, but turn my head a little and when I do, I wish I hadn't. Red has scars on her chest, stomach, and back, from what I can see. Seeing those, I forget I'm not supposed to be looking and turn completely around. "How did you get those scars? Who did that to you?" I ask, anger builds in my voice.

Red quickly puts my shirt back on. "Jace, why did you look!" Red begins and starts sobbing into a pillow. "I........I didn't want you to.....see me. Why!"

"How did you get those scars? Who did that to you?" I echo trying not to punch the wall out.

"I didn't want you to see. I knew you would take one look at me and think I'm disgusting and......never talk to me again," Red sobs.

You idiot! She thinks you think she's disgusting. You need to pull it together and you'd better not scare her. Say something to make her feel better! "Red, you're not disgusting and I'll always talk to you. I'm not disgusted, I'm just angry, because someone hurt you." That strand of curly red hair falls out of her braid. Instead of resisting, I place my hand on her cheek and tuck her hair behind her ear. My hand resonates on her cheek and she doesn't flinch. She doesn't flinch! Finally, she's not scared of me.

After a few seconds of us just standing there. My hand on her cheek, Red says, "M.......my.....my dad hurt me. Wh....when I went to his house.....He told me if I told my mom, he'd kill her. It.......it started, when I was 5."

"Oh, Red. I'm so sorry." I pull her into a hug. "You don't have to answer this, but does he still hurt you?" I ask breathing into her hair. If feels so natural for me to hold her close like this.

"No.....I was 16, when it ended. A few months ago. I......I can't tell you the rest," Red cries and I feel a wet spot on my shirt, where her head is.

"Please, it won't change how I feel about you. Nothing could change how I feel about you," I plea.

Red shakes her head and sobs, "Please no."

I don't want to push her, so I try to change the subject. "D...do you want me to stay with you?" I ask. "After all of this talk, you'll probably have really bad nightmares." Red pops her head away from me.

"I can't let you do that. If you stay, you might not get much sleep. Plus, when they're really bad. I kick and punch. If you were with me, I might do other things to defend myself. My mom made me take self defense classes and they told me, if I ever felt in danger, to knee in the person in the crotch and run away, to get help. I don't want to hurt you," Red cries.

"Hey, I can take it. I don't want to leave you alone. Not after I made you talk about this stuff. I feel sick, thinking about how I pressured you to talk to me," I confess.

"I wanted to talk to you. You didn't make me do anything. That's one of the things I like about you," Red looks away, after she realizes what she said. Her cheeks radiate heat and she stares at her hands.

I don't know what to do. I'm still in shock. She likes me! She likes me! I see how uncomfortable she is. Do something, break the silence. "That settles it. I'm staying. Now, scoot over." I smile. She lays her head on my chest and falls asleep. She looks peaceful and secure. I must doze off.

I feel someone kicking me and I remember where I am. Groggily, I tap Red on her shoulder. "Hey, it's Jace wake up," I try.

She starts crying and begging for someone to stop. Seeing her like this, when she's having a nightmare, it's excruciating. She kicks and punches, but I ignore the short bursts of pain, until she knees me. "Awwwwwww," I cry out in pain. Somehow, that seems to wake Red.

"I'm so sorry, Jace," Red cries. "I told you about the self defense classes. I'm sorry."

"It's okay Red," I manage through the pain.

"No, it's not," Red whispers. "I shouldn't have let you stay."

"You.....you didn't want me to stay," I begin. Of course not, because she doesn't like you like that! "I'm so sorry Red....I....I didn't know. I thought you were okay with it and I.......I'm sorry." I quickly get up out of her bed and lower my head. You idiot! How could you do that to her! She deserves someone better than you.

"N....no. I wanted you to stay, but I didn't want to hurt you. You didn't do anything wrong. Please come back," Red asks. She wanted me to stay! No, she didn't want to be alone, stop being so stupid!

I go back and lay next to her and she rests her head on me. "What did your dad do? I know you think I'll treat you different, but I won't. Please," I ask. I know I should leave it be, but I NEED to know. "Maybe talking to someone will help with the nightmares."

"I........I'll try," Red stutters. "When....I did things wrong, he would hit me. I tried to be good, but I always did something. He would tell me how useless, ugly, disgusting, docile, cowardly, worthless, whimpy, and pathetic I was." I clenched my jaw as she looks down and bites her lip. How could her own father do that to her! "After first, he would hit me with his hands, but as I got older, he started using a belt. He always made sure to hit me with the belt in places my mom wouldn't see." Stay calm! Don't you dare scare Red! Deep breaths. No sudden movements. Let her tell you at her pace. "It got to the point, where he'd hit me, when he wanted to. It didn't matter what I did. I used to beg him not to, but he didn't care. One day, I hid in my closet, but eventually, he found me and I paid for making him work to find me. That night....I..I don't want to talk about it anymore." Red breaks into a full sob and I hold her tightly.

"I'm not hurting you, am I?" I ask.

"No, it's better when you hold me really tight," Red explains. "It's like, when you swaddle a baby, so they feel safe." Once again, Red drifts off and I watch her breathe. She looks so peaceful and I watch her for the rest of the night.

○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○

I do not own any of the Mortal Instruments books, materials, etc. All credit belongs to Cassandra Clare.

Author's Note:
This is my first fanfic. I hope you guys like it! Please leave comments, votes, and feedback. I've decided from now on, I'm going to update, when I'm done and it'll be random.

Originally posted: 12/28/17