Clace (Liberty High School) (Completed)

29. The Connection

Clarissa

"We've got to get ready for school." Jace declares, Then, he abruptly walks out of the bathroom.

"Jace," I call trying to get him to stop walking away from me. "Please wait."

"Red, we've got to get ready for school," Jace responds. Did I do something wrong? Maybe....he's embarrassed because he told me about the magazines? "Are...you mad at me?"

"Jace....I am not mad at you. I...I get it. I mean I don't get how I do that to you. I'm not as attractive as most of the girls who you want, but...I get how it can happen," I explian, avoiding eye contact.

"Red....the ONLY girl I want is you." Does he really mean that? I mean....could he really like me that much? "Yes, there have been some girls," I wonder how many? Hopefully not too many! What do you expect he's hot and not a whimp like you! "in my past, but...they pale in comparison to you. I wish you would believe me," Jace explains. Jace edges closer to me, his hand finds my radiating cheek, and his warm wet lips brush against mine. I can feel all the cracks on his upper lip. "I have an idea," Jace whispers in my ear seductively.

"Wh...what?" I ask, trying to remember to breath.

"Can I pick you up and bring you over to my bed?" Jace asks with my special smile on his face.

"Yes," I answer. Gently, he picks me up and carries me to his bed.

"I'm going to pull your shirt down in front to your shoulders, is that okay? I promise I'm not going to do anything that you don't want me to," Jace nervously confirms. What does he want with my shoulders! Should I let him? I mean....I know he won't hurt be, but.....I guess it'll be okay.

"O...okay," I manage between breaths. Damn you're nervous! Jace just lingers over me, after setting me on the bed. Slowly, he pushes my shirt down. I can feel my cheeks heat up, and Jace pecks my lips. We get lost in eachother's gaze. Until he moves his hand to my shoulder.

"Okay...this might be hard, but if you can and want to....please tell me about this scar," Jace whispers filled with compassion.

"Jace...I don't want to talk about them. I don't want you to see how disgusting I am," I cry. They make me feel...horrible. I don't want to talk about this.

"I...I'm not trying to make this more difficult. I fact, I'm trying to help. If you're really against talking about it...we don't have to," Jace concedes.

"No...it's okay," I decide. You've got to be open with him. It's okay, he won't hurt you.

"Okay, so how...how did you get this one?" Jace point to the highest one. I grab his head and pull it to my ear, so I don't have to say it very loud.

"My....my dad was drunk one night. I....I was ten. Because his senses were impared, he hit me further up than usual. Of course...my shirt still hid it....I must've...satisfied him because he didn't hit me anywhere else that night...after....-" I whisper in his ear.

"What do you see when you look at this scar, Red?" Jace asks and his hand runs over my cheek.

"I see a rough, uneven, indented, once painfully, and ugly piece of skin that was deformed," I explain, and I fight back tears.

Do you want to know what I see?" Jace offers.

"N...not really," I look away from his piercing golden eyes.

"Red...when I look at this scar, I see a beautiful, scared, brave, tenacious, 10 year old, red haired, green eyed girl that lived through an unnecessary hell, to protect her and her mom," Jace responds. He grabs my chin and locks my eyes onto his. "I'm a little nervous to ask this, but...can you please give me your hand and trust me?" Jace asks.

"Y...yes," I stutter. Slowly, Jace takes my hand and runs it down his chest to the lining of his pants. What is he doing? W...why is my hand going down there! Don't panic! He looks into my eyes and I nod. Good job! Jace wont hurt you, trust him. Jace moves my hand over his left hip. Okay you're doing great, just breathe. He lowers my hand under his clothes, and takes his hand out.

"Red, I want you to push you're hand just a little farther down, okay?" Jace cofirms.

"Okay," I reply. He holds my gaze as I slip my hand father down. Then...I feel something and I know what it is. I've touched my own so many times, I know how it feels. Who did that to him? Why did he want me to feel it? What do I do? I pull my hand out and put it in his hair. There's a comfortable silence, while I try to figure out what to say. "Jace...you have a really deep scar on your...right hip," I whisper in my ear. Oh, nice one Clarissa! That's the best you've got!

"Y...yes I do," Jace replies, wait did he...he stuttered!

"Why did you want me to feel that?" I question and I can feel his nervousness.

"I...I didn't know how to make you see. To make you understand that I've been marked too. That's....partially why I've never had...intercourse. Anytime a girls even gotten close...I've stopped her." Why did he show me then? Why would I be any different? "Red...when I look at myself in the mirror, I feel like a waste of space, worthless, ugly, weak, and worst of all, I feel small, so small, Red," Jace admits and it's his turn to look away in embarrassment...or maybe even shame. Anger bubbles inside me! How could someone make him feel like that!

"Jace...I don't want you to ever say those words again! Or better yet...I don't want you to ever think those things again!" I erupt. "Whoever did that to you is sick and...just horrible. I'm so sorry, darling." I rub his back, to comfort him.

"Red," Jace begins. "That's exactly how I feel about your scars. When you say those bad things about yourself....I want to kill anyone who's ever said or made you think those things about yourself."

"Jace....can...can I touch it again?" I ask. Why do I want to touch it? What's wrong with me!

"O...okay," Jace stutters. Wait what? He said okay!

Slowly, I re-enter my hand, and rub my thumb over his scar.  "Jace..I know you think you're okay with my scars, but you haven't seen my....my chest yet. Those are the worst. I look broken and disgusting. They....probably will make you sick," I explain as tears fall.

"Red, I don't think you get it. There's no part of you that I don't find dangerously attractive. Why did you want to touch my hip again?" Jace asks apprehensively.

"I...this probably sounds stupid, but it makes me feel special and safe. You...you said you never want anyone to know it is there, but you showed me," I realize. Yes! I have a reason! I'm not nuts!

"Red...I'm really think we should get up now...because I really want to kiss you right now," Jace whispers and nibbles my ear affectionately, sending shivers down my spine. Aww...that's it! I bring his head towards mine, and attack his lips.

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I do not own any of the Mortal Instruments books, materials, etc. All credit belongs to Cassandra Clare.

Author's Note:
This is my first fanfic. I hope you guys like it! Please leave comments, votes, and feedback. I'm going to update, when I'm done and it'll be random.

Originally posted: 1/28/18