Clace (Liberty High School) (Completed)

19. The Talk

Clarissa

"Jace, I'm fine, really. I.....don't want to put you out," I explain even though I feel like crap.

"Red, will you please listen to me. I'm the one who offered," Jace defends. "All of those things you said about yourself earlier, please don't think they're true."

"Jace, it's okay," I say. "You don't have to lie to make me feel better."

"Red, I'm not lying. I had this huge science test today and I didn't really want to go to school anyway," Jace laughs and I see his special smile, the one he reserves for me only.

"If you're sure," I concede because honestly I don't want to go to school today. I'm tired, of course, but the real reason is, I don't want to face Sebastian.

"Izzy's long gone by now. I'll be right back, okay?" Jace asks for confirmation. "Oh, and I'm taking all of the razors and sharp objects with me."

"I'll be okay," I confirm and nod for him to go. When Jace leaves, I realize I've just dragged him into my mess. "What is wrong with you?" I'd ask myself over and over. What have I done? Now Jace is going to miss school because of me. He shouldn't be here, taking care of me! I hear footsteps  approaching the bathroom, that pull me from my thoughts. Jace has this strange in his eyes.

"Red, I know this is kinda.....awkward, but I'm going to....need you to.....I have to....your shirt....it's....I....your shirt is....it's just your arm is bleeding and I can't....properly clean the part above where your shirt sleeve will go," Jace nervously stutters.

"Oh, I...I...grab a body towel. You can turn around while I take....my shirt...off, and then I'll wrap the towel with my arms on the outside," I try to explain uncomfortable.

"Yeah, okay I'll grab a towel," Jace offers and reaches into the bathroom closet for a body towel. Jace has that look in his eyes again. "Uh....Red, there aren't any towels in the closet." Oh great. Now what am I gonna do! I don't want him to see me shirtless. I know he saw me shirtless when he saw my scars, but it isn't someting I want to make a regular thing. Suddenly, Jace takes off his shirt and hands it to me. Angel, what is he doing? Why is he handing me his shirt? Why did I just take it? "Here, I'll turn around, just cover yourself with our shirts, like a makeshift towel." Of course you had nothing to worry about! Jace wouldn't try to hurt you! Just stay calm! You're safe.

"Okay....I'm covered," I whisper. Jace levels with me to my wound. Jace begins dabbing antiseptic wipes to clean the cut out. It stings a litttle and I let out a small wince. Jace wraps some gauze around my arm very carefully. I cannot look at him. I'm so embarrassed and ashamed. It's like I'm a little child he has to taken care of. Jace begins wrapping an ace wrap. When he starts hurting me, I put my hand on his, to stop him. He stops wrapping and just stares at me. What is going on in his head right now? Why is he staring at me? Why don't I mind that our hands are still touching? "Can you make it a little less tight? I really hurts when you have it that tight," I say to break the silence.

"Yeah, sorry Red," Jace replies. Jace finishes the ace wrap and I smile, so he knows it's not too tight. He smiles that smile at me and I feel like metling. Suddenly, Jace asks, "Why did you do it?" My face blazes. Why did he have to bring It back up? I thought he forgot. What am I going I do?

"I...wanted the pain to go away," I confess uncomfortable.

"Pain?" Jace echoes confused.

"Jace, I knew something was wrong in the closet and I know you didn't want to be in there with me. It....just hurt that you didn't want to be close to me." Because I want to be closer to you "I mean, I get it. I'm not exactly....you know.....appealing. I thought we were friends. I didn't realize how disgusted you were. I just hurt so much and I didn't know what to do," I answer and look away.

"I....I'm the reason you hurt yourself...I.. I did this to you....Red....I....I didn't mean to hurt you," Jace explains. "I...I wasn't comfortable in the closet because I'm a freak." Why does he think like that! Ugh! "It had nothing to....it wasn't your....You didn't do anything, it was all me."

"I thought....it was my scars, my ugliness. I thought it was my fault, that you just left. Like maybe I said something wrong. Maybe.....maybe the intensity of wh.......wha...what....I told you about my......it finally kicked in," I try.

"Red, how many times do I have to tell you that the only person I have negative thoughts, feelings, etc. for are...the people that hurt you?" Jace asks annoyed.

"Jace, it's okay. I know I am-" I babble, but Jace interrupts me, he puts his  left pointer finger on my lip. It feels strange, but it's not a bad feeling. Jace takes me into his arms and scoots closer to me. Slowly, Jace leans towards me, and pauses, in case I were to protest. When I don't tell him to stop, he moves his finger from my hand to my red cheek. Jace stares at me and sees something, but it isn't fear. (Author's Note: what do you think she's feeling? Please comment with your ideas!) Jace looks at me, until he's sure I'm okay to continue. I don't move away, and that's when he does it. As gently as one would cut the wires to a bomb, Jace leans in and touches his lips to mine.

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I do not own any of the Mortal Instruments books, materials, etc. All credit belongs to Cassandra Clare.

Author's Note:
This is my first fanfic. I hope you guys like it! Please leave comments, votes, and feedback. I'm going to update, when I'm done and it'll be random.

Originally posted: 1/13/18