Clace (Liberty High School) (Completed)

25. The Conundrum

Clarissa

I'm getting a little annoyed with Jace. I know he doesn't want to hurt me, but this isn't very satisfying. I'd always imagined kissing having more passion and feeling. It's as if I'm a balloon and he's afraid to push to hard and pop me! Maybe......I'm not good enough and he doesn't want to put that much effort into it. "Ugh, Jace!" I exclaim. "We need to talk for a second."

Jace quickly breaks our kiss as sits up. "What's wrong?" Jace asks concerned. I yearn to kiss you and you seem like you're being forced to kiss me.

"It seems like you're not really into kissing right now. We....don't have to if you don't want to," I stutter. Great! You've already managed to do something wrong!

"All I want to do is kiss you. What has you so riled up?" Jace defends. Am I asking too many questions? Interrupting too much?

"Am I doing something wrong or are you just not sure you want to?" I ask. Do I really want to know?

"Please what is this about?" Jace begs. He looks so hot when he's vulnerable like this. Why does he have to inadvertently make this ten times more difficult?

"You're just being so...passionless. I...don't know what this is supposed to feel like, but I always thought it was more passionate and emotional. If....I'm wrong, just tell me and I'll shut up," I nervously explain.

"I just don't want to go too fast. Believe me I'm very passionate, but I'm restraining myself." Why would he be restraining himself? What does he want to do with me? I wish he would just let go! "I'm sorry you aren't feeling those things because you're absolutely right. That's how it feels for me. I would never tell you to shut up, and I really hope you know that by now," Jace responds.

"Please Jace, don't restrain yourself as much. I want to know you're as eager as I am. That all of these thoughts I have aren't completely perverted and bad," I explain holding back tears.

Jace laughs, oh great you've done it now! "Red, it's perfectly normal to have thoughts like that. They aren't perverted or bad, they're conpletely natural. I....I have thoughts too," Jace confesses.

"Can you please come back over here?" I plead with my eyes. Jace repositions himself, and his golden eyes gaze at me. His warm wet lips brush against mine. In seconds, his hands have found my hair and are playing with my red curls. I can feel his teeth carefully massage my bitten lip. Slowly, I work up the courage to move my hands into his hair. As his golden locks tangle, he sighs in my mouth. This is sooooooo awesome! I can't believe I can effect him like this. Eventually...I pull away. "Hey, we've got to breathe," I smile.

"W...was...it okay?" Jace nervously asks.

"Is Jace Herondale nervous?" I tease.

"Only with you Red," Jace responds.

"Well....itwasamazingandIlovedit!" I babble. "I'm really tired. After all of the awkwardness, that whole cutting incident, talking, thinking we did something wrong for at least an hour with only our minds to make it worse, talking, did I mention talking, and kissing, I'm exausted."

Jace yawns and I know he is too. I rest my head on his chest and I snuggle closer to him. His arms surround me. As I'm dozing off, Jace suddenly asks, "Would you be okay if we went to my room, so Izzy doesn't see us? It won't be any different from what we're doing now."

At first I'm a little nervous, but then I think about it. "It won't be any different from what we're doing now?" I question.

"Nope, not a single thing," Jace responds.

"Then, sure. That sounds like a good idea, but how do you know Izzy won't walk into your room tomorrow morning?" I ask.

"Do you trust me?" Jace offers.

"Yes, I trust you," I quietly reply.

"Red, just take some time before you freak out after I explain," Jace begins. "I was planning on locking the door, with your knowledge of course." Jace winced expecting me to freak out.

"Jace I don't know....-," I reply.

"But....if you don't want to, we can just wake up early, before Izzy and, I'll make sure she doesn't come in tonight. Then, there's the whole you getting to school thing," Jace interrupts and I can see his brain processing. "I can just get up really really early, get ready, and ride you home before your mom wakes up, then come back to my house, pretend to be sleeping, have Izzy "wake me up", and then ride to your house to take you to school. I mean I won't get much sleep, but if you don't want to sleep with my tonight, I'll gladly make it happen."

"Are you serious?" I ask confused. "You'd do all of that for me?"

"Of course I would. That's what people do for people they care about," Jace responds.

"Well I really appreciate the offer, I think it'd be best if...." You can't seriously consider staying in his room with him with the door locked! But....you can't make him do all of that, and it's way too late to go home without being caught. It was good of you to call you're mom earlier, and tell her you were staying later than you expected at Izzy's, but she's going to ask Izzy about me staying over so much and then I'll be caught. So....I either stay with Jace in a locked room or.....make him do all of that and then go to school with little sleep. I can't make him do all of that! " I just stayed the night with you in you're room," I unconfidently whisper.

"Red, I'm glad you trust me to stay with me, but you have to trust me when I promise I won't do anything you don't want tonight. I can't imagine how hard this is, but please try," Jace pleas. I nod and we walk into his room. He goes to the bathroom to change and I again realize I won't have any clothes for tomorrow. Quietly, I go into Jace's dresser and get a shirt and pants. I set my clothes over a bookshelf. At least I can Febreze them and let them air dry overnight. Then, I go into his closet and change. Once I reach his bed, I look around and realize how organized his room is. He has crisp clean sheets and a nicely made bed. I feel like an intruder. Eventually, Jace comes out. The lights are off, so he doesn't notice my clothes swap. "It's okay, you can climb in?" Jace offers.

"I....just didn't want to mess up your bed; it looks so neat," I manage.

"Red, do you want me to sleep with a separate blanket? Will it make you feel better?" Jace offers.

"I....well...no, I don't want you to have to sleep on a separate blanket. This is your bed," I stutter. "Plus, I feel safer, when you're close to me."

"Alright, then it's settled," Jace smiles. "Are you wearing my clothes?"

"Y...yes, I can change if you want. I just didn't want to wear the clothes from today, tonight and tomorrow for school," I quickly explain. What if he doesn't like that? You should've asked first!

"No, it's fine. I like it when you wear my clothes," Jace whispers into my ear. I was right! His grip is harder against my waist, and his hands tease my hips. I doze off.....

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I do not own any of the Mortal Instruments books, materials, etc. All credit belongs to Cassandra Clare.

Author's Note:
This is my first fanfic. I hope you guys like it! Please leave comments, votes, and feedback. I'm going to update, when I'm done and it'll be random.

Originally posted: 1/21/18