Clace (Liberty High School) (Completed)

48. The Make Up

Jace

I'm driving to my house with Red beside me. I'm about 90% sure we're going to make out once we get there and I can't wait. Today has been rather eventful, but it'll be nice to end it holding Red in my arms.

We are walking upto my bedroom. Alec is at Magnus' house. Izzy is probably at Simon's house. My parents are gone for work. I decide I should make Red aware that were the only ones here. Just in case, she's not comfortable with it. "Red, before we go any further, there's something you need to know," I begin as I stop at my door.

"It's okay Jace, you can tell me," Red replies, sensing my tension.

"No one else is here. It's just you and me," I explain. Let's just see what she says.

"That's what you wanted to tell me?" Red asks confused.

"Well, yeah. I just wanted to make sure you know," I answer.

"Jace, I love that," Red squeals and then walks into my room.

We both gravitate towards my bed. I lay down and Red lays on top of me. Her lips find mine, my hands nest in her hair, and our tongues dance. Red pulls one of her hands out of my hair. I don't really think anything if it, until I feel it on my crotch. "Red, no we're taking this slow," I break away our kiss and move her hand. What is she thinking? Am....am I ready for that? I...is she ready for that? I'm not ready for that? Sh...should I be ready for that? When Kaelie did it, it was just...sexual gratification. But...with Clary, I...I can't, not yet.

"Jace, I want to make sure you are enjoying this too," Red replies.

"I already told you, I'm happy taking it slow. Let me ask you a few questions, okay?" I ask. This could work...

"O..okay," Red stutters. Okay, this is going to be hard. I know I don't like making her uncomfortable, but it's going to be necessary for a little while.

"Did you like putting your hand....there? Did it feel natural for you?" I ask.

"Jace, I...want to be honest. My....Valentine, He....he used to make me do things. No, I...I don't really like it, but if you do, I can manage. No, it doesn't feel natural, it felt....like something I was obligated to do," Red confesses.

"Okay now when you put my hand on your waist last night, did you like that? Did it feel natural?" I continue asking. "I promise I have a point here, just please answer honestly."

"Of course I liked that, Jace! I'm the one who put your hand there. It felt like the next thing naturally to do while making out," Red replies.

"Don't you see Red. When you put my hand on your waist, it felt right. In contrast, when you felt obligated and decided that you should put your hand...there, it felt wrong? This is going to be a little harsh, and I'm sorry in advance," I warn. "Did Valentine ever put his hand on your waist like you put my hand on your waist?"

Red's eyes are threatening to give out on her. I hate pressing her this hard, but I need her to see. "Y...yes, He did," Red cries.

"Red, I'm so sorry, but I'm trying to help you. I believe the reason why my hand on your waist was okay was because you felt like it was your decision, you didn't feel pressured, and you didn't feel like you needed to. Angel Red, you're killing me! Do you understand what I'm saying?" I ask.

"Jace, please don't be mad at me. I...I understand. I..I just wish you didn't have to wait for me. I wish you could enjoy us as much as I do," Red trembles in my arms.

I pick her up and sit her down. "Red, I swear to you I enjoy us. I enjoy every little thing we do. I enjoy holding your hand, or looking at you from across the room and holding our gaze, until we have to look away flushed. But, how do you know I'm waiting for you? Maybe I'm not ready too. Maybe I'm not ready to let you see all of me. Maybe I'm not ready to give you all of me. Maybe I'm scared I won't be all that you want me to be. Maybe I'm scared that you'll finally see all of me, and it won't be good enough. Maybe...-" I begin but a tear escapes from my eye. All of these things are true. It's as if I'm just realizing them, and it hits me like a tidal wave.

Red pulls me closer to her. I lightly cry into her neck. "It's okay, baby. I'm sorry. Shhhhh," Red comforts. "It's okay."

"I'm sorry Red. I didn't mean to start crying like a wussy," I manage as I pull myslef together. You're so weak Jace! No one's ever going to love you! My dad's words echo in my head.

"Maybe, I needed to hear that Jace. Maybe it helped me. Maybe, just maybe, you needed to say it too. You're not a wussy or any other derogatory word your thinking about in that beautiful brain of yours," Red assures me. I start kissing her, and she promptly kisses me back. We find ourselves in our old position. Except this time, my hand wanders down to her waist and my shirt is long gone. I take a few seconds to really take Red in.

"Jace, do...do you want to. I mean....we....is.....you...next....we.....level?" Red nervously tries.

"What do you have in mind?" I ask. Angel! I'm nervous! Keep it steady! Breath!

"M..maybe you could...explore my neck.....a little.....with your..... mouth?" Red nervously suggests and blushes.

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I do not own any of the Mortal Instruments books, materials, etc. All credit belongs to Cassandra Clare.

Author's Note:
This is my first fanfic. I hope you guys like it! Please leave comments, votes, and feedback. I'm going to update, when I'm done and it'll be random.

Originally posted: 2/19/18