Clace (Liberty High School) (Completed)

23. The Decision

Shout out to BellaSH13 Thanks for helping me with my minor mental breakdown.

Clarissa

"I.....if I wanted you to what?" I ask  innocently. Is he asking what I think he's asking? I hope he is! Wait, do I? Do I want him to be asking me that?

"If you wanted to....be my....my....girlfriend...but there's no pressure. I mean you probably want to date Sebastian. He seems really nice. I know you two had some sort of fight last night, but he's probably better than m-" Jace babbles, but I interrupt. Does he seriously think Sebastian is better than him? Ugh...if only he knew what I thought about him.

"Jace, Sebastian and I broke up. He...was drunk, you know. I was really scared he was going to hurt me," I reply. I shudder remembering his hands on me. "I have to tell you even though it'll probably make you change your mind. Sebastian...and I...we were sitting on his couch. The movie ended and he....he started kissing me and p...pulling my shirt....up. I....tried to get him off but....he wouldn't budge. He was so close....to me. When I finally got him off, that's when I ran and called you. I didn't know who else to call," I confess. He's probably going to think I'm weak or something. Who has to rely on their friend That much? I'm still a little shocked Jace came as quickly as he did.

"Red, I'm sorry. I'm sorry Sebastian did that." Why does he always apologize for what other people do? "I...I didn't know. I'm just an idiot, bringing that up. I'm sorry he tried to...hurt you." He can't say It either. "I'm sorry I tried to kiss you. I know you were okay with it, but I still feel like I did something I wasn't supposed to," Jace responds. Well, I wasn't expecting that! "You don't have anything to be worried about. We can do whatever you want. We can be friends, we can be best friends, you don't ever have to talk to me again," How does he not see I'm just as smitten will him as he is with me if not more. "I'd leave you alone, we could date openly, or even more secretitivly if you don't want to tell people. Regardless....it's your decision. I will appreciate and respect whatever you decide."

"Jace, I know you think you like me, but you are making a mistake. I...I'm just a girl, nothing special. You're this hot, smart, athletic, popular, cool guy and I'm just me," I reply. I don't want him to find someone better. I know he could do better and I'm scared he's going to find that out someday.

"Red...ugh...you're really making this difficult," Jace sighs.

"I'm sorry....but this is hard...for me...Jace. I'm...t...trying to," I stutter with nerves.

"No, I'm sorry. I can't imagine how difficult this must be to you. I just...ugh. I want you to know how much I like you. I'm not going to stop. So I've got to ask, what do you want us to be? Don't feel obligated to say anything, just listen to your heart," Jace asks.

"Jace.....I like you I really do, but I'm scared," I confess. What if I'm a horrible girlfriend and I make Jace hate me?

"You're scared of me? Red, I'm sorry I scared you. You don't know how much I regret scaring you. I....it's okay. I get it, you don't want to be more than friends." How is he so bad at this! It's like he thinks I'd be the one compromising, instead of him. "It'll be hard, but I'll figure it out. We can just be friends," Jace babbles but I can see how disappointed he is in his golden eyes.

"Jace, I'm not scared of you, so stop it!" I yell and put his hand on my cheek. My mundane eyes find his golden spheres and lock onto them like a missile with coordinates. "I'm scared of dating in general. I've never really done it before, and Sebastian was my first boyfriend. I..know you wouldn't hurt me, but what if I do something wrong? What if I say the wrong thing or do something I'm not supposed to? What would you do?" He wouldn't hit you....but what would he do. All my parents ever did was yell, and I don't want to do that. Mom was always crying and dad was always angry.

"Red, I would never hurt you. If you do something that makes me mad or vice versa, we can have a conversation about it. Well both be open and share our ideas. If you or I said something wrong or something we're not supposed to, we'd talk about it. I want you to always be honest with me, and I'll always be honest to you," Jace explains. We'd talk about it! Yes, we'd talk about it like civilized people. But....still....what if I'm too clingy or needy?

"I might not be good at it, but I'd like to try to be your girlfriend," I decide.

"Really?" Jace can't supress the shock. "Do...you want to tell anyone?"

Do I want to tell anyone? Maybe.... "Let's just keep it between us for now, okay?" I question.

"Like I said, whatever makes you most comfortable," Jace confirms. I really want to kiss him now! Since I'm already in his arms, I lean in a bit closer and he does too. As my lips connect to his, I feel chills down my body. Jace puts his hand on my back and his touch resonates with me. It's like we're two opposite charged magnets and everytime we touch some of our charge mixes, but it doesn't become neutral. The yearning I have only strengths.

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I do not own any of the Mortal Instruments books, materials, etc. All credit belongs to Cassandra Clare.

Author's Note:
This is my first fanfic. I hope you guys like it! Please leave comments, votes, and feedback. I'm going to update, when I'm done and it'll be random.

Originally posted: 1/19/18