If I Could Tell Him

Chapter one

EVAN POV

Evan Hansen wiped his sweaty hand on his jeans. (He could only wipe one because the other was trapped in a bulky cast.) How would he tell his mother that he didn't want to go to school? He couldn't tell her about the bullying. Even the thought of it made his hands shake.

"Evan!" Called his mother, right on cue. "Time for school! And have you been writing those letters to yourself?"

"I started one!" He called back. He had not, in fact, started one. His plan was to bullshit one before the school day was done. He grabbed his backpack and headed out the door to school. Maybe someone would sign his cast today. He doubted it, though. No one paid him any attention. Except to be mean, he thought to himself. He shook the thought out of his head right as he walked into the high school. Straight off, he saw Jared Kleinman, his only friend. Well... "family friend." "Hi Jared!" He waved and immediately regretted it, feeling stupid and childish. He chastised himself as Jared walked over.

"What happened to your arm?" Jared asked, a smirk on his face. Evan took a breath, having practiced this lie many times before. When he spoke his voice came out shakier than he would have liked.

"I-Ifelloutofatreeonaccident," he said quickly, looking at Jared and hoping he would buy the story.

"You fell out of a tree?" Jared asked. Evan nodded fervently. "What are you, an acorn?" Evan ran a sweaty hand through his messy sandy hair and laughed nervously. The bell rang and Evan jumped, looking up. Connor Murphy was speed walking to get to class in time until Jared stopped him, mentioning something about his hair. Evan tried to pay attention to the interaction, but when Connor's eyes met his, his heart skipped a beat and looked away quickly. He had been crushing on Connor for three years now and could never talk to him. Jared laughed at something and Evan, trying to cover for the fact that he wasn't listening, laughed too. Connor's head snapped up and he looked hurt, which was quickly replaced with rage.

"Stop laughing at me. I'm not a freak. You're the fucking freak!" Connor snarled, pushing past him. Evan, caught off guard, fell to the ground, sending shooting pain up his broken arm. He looked up, hoping Jared would help him up, but the other boy was nowhere to be seen. A slender hand reached out for him.

"Sorry about my brother." Zoe Murphy apologized, helping him stand. Evan's heart began to race. He knew that if he was to become friends with Zoe, maybe she could help him get with Connor. If there was any chance of that.

"H-hi! Zoe! Um th-th-thank you." He stuttered nervously. God, why couldn't he just act normal around people?

"No problem." The girl responded. "You'd better hurry to class!" She flashed him a smile and disappeared into the crowded hallway. Evan brushed himself off and started towards his first class.

First chapters are always the worst lol sorry -zz💙