If I Could Tell Him

Chapter forty-eight

Time skip brought to you by George Salazar being a gay referee

ZOE POV

"I'm leaving now!" Zoe called out, picking up her purse from the counter.

"Say hello to Connor for me!" Her wife's voice rang out from down the hallway, causing Zoe's lips to turn up in a smile.

"Will do, Lana. I love you!" She said, her hand on the doorknob, waiting for a response.

"Love you too!" Alana answered. Zoe left the house, pulling her jacket tighter around her as she got to the car. She waved at the stray cat that always made his way to her driveway.

"Hi, Arnold." Zoe said softly, crouching down. She had named the cat after Evan's beloved tree a few days after he went under. The gray striped cat started going blurry as tears filled Zoe's eyes. She tucked her straight brown hair behind her ear and sniffed, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. Arnold rubbed his head against Zoe's leg, purring loudly. She scratched under his chin, allowing herself a smile. "I have to go." She told the cat quietly. "I'll be back, ok? Watch over my house." Zoe nodded at Arnold, and as if he understood, the cat blinked back at her.

Zoe pulled out of her driveway and drove through her neighborhood, glancing at Jared and Heather's house as she passed it. She contemplated stopping and asking if they wanted to come along, but decided against it. This was her brother that she was visiting, and too many people at once might overwhelm him.

She pulled into In-N-Out, ordering Connor's favorite burger and a large fry. When Zoe finally parked in the hospital parking lot, she took a minute to sit in her car and think. She rested her head on the steering wheel, closed her eyes, and breathed. She knew Connor had been at the hospital for over a week, ever since his husband went into that damn coma. Zoe knew that her brother had hardly eaten, hence the fast food that she had picked up. She doubted that he would eat it, but she had to at least try. When she was ready, Zoe finally got out of her car, her purse in one hand and the greasy white paper bag in the other.

"Hi. I'm Zoella Beck, here to see Evan Hansen." Zoe told the woman at the front desk, painting an 'everything's totally ok' smile on her face.

"Room 525." The woman said. Zoe thanked her and made her way to the elevator. As she got in, she smiled at the man already standing there. He was clutching flowers and silent tears rolled down his dark cheeks. His coat trailed to his ankles.

"Hi." Zoe said softly. "My name is Zoe. Are you ok?" The man turned to her, seemingly surprised that she was speaking to him.

"A-Angel..." the man choked out.

"Is that your name?" She asked him, moving a bit closer.

"N-no I..." he took a breath, seemingly trying to collect himself. "My name is C-Collins. Tom Collins. My...my lover is Angel.." his voice broke and he began to sob. Awkwardly, Zoe put her arm around his broad shoulders.

"I'm so sorry." Zoe said quietly. "What happened? If I may ask."

"AIDS." Tom said, venom lacing his voice. "Fucking...f-fucking AIDS. I don't know...I-I don't know how long she has..." as the elevator stopped, he took a breath, plastering a familiarly false smile on his face. "Gotta be strong for Angel." Zoe heard him mutter. "I'll cover you..." he sang softly as he walked away.

Zoe got to room 525, bracing herself before knocking. "Connor?" She asked, opening the door.

Her brother sat on a chair next to Evan's limp form. Connor almost looked worse than Evan did with long brown hair hanging stringy in his pale face. The bags under his eyes were dark and prominent and he looked like he hadn't slept in a week, which was pretty probable. Connor looked up at Zoe with tired, bloodshot eyes.

"Hi, Zoe..." he rasped, clinging to Evan's hand desperately.

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