If I Could Tell Him

Chapter eighteen

CONNOR POV

Connor was shaking with anger, watching Evan sob and cling onto his tree. He focused on trying to comfort the inconsolable boy instead of how he was going to rip Thomas's throat out with only one working arm.

"A-Arnold..." the sandy haired boy whimpered. Connor blinked back tears as Evan turned and hugged him instead of the tree "Wh-why do p-people hate m-m-me so much?" He asked quietly. Connor looked down.

"Hey," he said softly. When Evan didn't respond, he said it a bit more loudly. "Hey." Evan looked up, bloodshot eyes and red in the face. "They just don't understand. They're close minded. Okay? You are amazing."

"Y-you j-just...youjusthavetosaythatbecauseweredating" Evan's voice broke. Connor pulled him closer and lay his cheek on Evan's head.

"No, my darling, I don't have to say anything. They...they just don't get it. They don't see what I see."

"What do y-you see?" Evan sniffed.

"Oh god, where do I start? I see an angel. I see complete and unfiltered beauty and goodness. You are the one person that I've ever loved and will ever love. I love the way you blush when you're embarrassed. I love the way you hum under your breath when you can't think of anything to say. Your voice lights up my world. I love how kind you are without asking for anything in return. I love how forgiving you are. Before I officially met you, I had a huge crush on you. My heart would flutter whenever you accidentally made eye contact with me. Now, instead of butterflies, it's more like fireworks. Before I met you, I was alone. Suicidal and alone. I was a frozen lake, but then you melted me. You are my best friend, my rock, my world, my everything. I love you more than words can even say."

Connor's voice cracked on the last few words. These and many more were things that he'd wanted to tell Evan for a long time. He self consciously closed his eyes, not used to being this vulnerable. Evan tilted his head so Connor would look at him. He wrapped his arms around his neck and Connor felt the familiar euphoria whenever Evan touched him. Evan stood on his tip toes and kissed Connor.

They stayed like that for a while, until Evan broke apart for air and leaned his head on Connor's chest. "Th-thank you." He said quietly. In reply, Connor kissed the top of his head. "I h-have an idea..." Evan lead Connor inside and up to his room, where five pots of marigolds were lined up against the window. "I was g-going to g-give them to you but I d-didn't have t-time." Connor looked at him lovingly, touched by the gesture. Evan started gathering the flowers and lead Connor back outside.

What is going on? Connor thought to himself, but didn't say anything. Evan placed the flowers around his tree and went into a garden shed in the corner of the yard, pulling out two shovels. Wordlessly, he handed one to Connor, who immediately understood. They planted the five flowers in a circle around the tree.

Neither of them spoke while they planted, but neither of them had to. When they were finished, the sun was beginning to set. Evan and Connor stood with their arms around each other admiring their handy work.

"What do you think?" Connor asked him.

"It's b-beautiful." Evan responded. "T-tomorrow I'm not g-gonna let them know they h-hurt me. I'll p-pretend nothing h-happened. I'm not going t-to let them get t-to me. I'm b-better than th-that."

"That's my boy." Connor smiled.

That's when Heidi came home.

"Evan!!" She called through the house before opening the back door. "WHAT THE FUCK??" She screamed, making the boys jump. "WHO DID THIS TO ARNOLD?? I'm calling the police. This is destruction of property. Evan, are you okay? Do you need anything?"

"N-no mom. I'm o-okay." Evan attempted a smile. Connor led him to his mother by the hand, and the two embraced. "D-don't call the cops." Evan said, almost too quiet for Connor to hear. "I'm st-strong enough to d-do this mom." Heidi let go of her son and gave him a watery smile. Connor turned away, feeling out of place and like he was ruining the moment.

"Oh no you don't!" Connor felt himself being yanked into a tight hug from Heidi. "Keep an eye on him okay? Don't let anyone hurt my boy." She cleared her throat. "I mean...your boy." Connor looked at Heidi, the mom he'd always dreamed of but never had.

"He's your son and my boyfriend. He's our boy." He said softly, pulling Evan into the middle of the hug.

And that's how they stayed until the stars came out.