If I Could Tell Him

Chapter twenty-four

EVAN POV

"EVAN!" He was just about to drift off, and Connor was yelling from upstairs.

"WHAT? ARE YOU OKAY?" Evan shouted back.

"COME HEEEEEERE!" Came the reply. Immediately Evan's anxiety and curiosity got the better of him and he sleepily stumbled up the stairs.

"What?" He asked when he opened the door.

"Come cuddle with me. I'm all alone." Connor whined. Evan didn't need further prompting, and so he lay down under the covers next to his boyfriend. He felt Connor's bare chest against his back, and his strong arms wrap around Evan's body, the body that Evan had always hated. Evan mentally checked that he wasn't laying on the arm that Connor had just ripped out of a cast. When he realized that Connor's left arm was in fact slung over the top of him, he relaxed. He ran his hands along Connor's arms, feeling safe and protected. He fell asleep to Connor pressing his soft lips against the base of his neck. "Goodnight, my prince." Connor murmured into his ear.

"Goodnight, my angel." Evan replied, yawning.

CONNOR POV

Connor woke up with his arms around Evan's warm body. He was confused. Where was he? Where was his cast? He sat up, looking at his hands and trying not to wake Evan. But he began to stir, signaling that he was awake. Suddenly, he stood up, and Connor realized that in fact, that was not Evan.

Jared looked back at him, smiling. "Hey baby." He said seductively.

"What are you doing here?" Connor asked, his voice hoarse. He then heard commotion coming from the outside of the room. His father and Evan opened the door. Evan looked hurt, but his father just looked livid.

"You little faggot." His dad said through gritted teeth.

"I thought y-you loved m-me." Evan began to sob. "If you wanted Jared, you c-could have just told me." Connor stood up to make his way to Evan. He reached for the crying boy.

"Shh. Hey baby, I do love you. I love you so much. I don't care about Jared I don't even know how he got here." He said, trying not to cry.

"D-d-don't touch me!" Evan screamed, his voice full of pain. "You...you monster!" Connor recoiled.

"You're going to fucking hell! I'm going to fucking kill you!" Mr. Murphy bellowed, walking towards Connor whilst rolling up his sleeves. Jared made his way to Evan who accepted the hug from him.

"Hey it's okay Ev. I won't let him hurt you anymore." Jared soothed. What the fuck? Connor thought helplessly. Jared turned so Evan wouldn't see his face and winked at Connor, smiling. And that's when he felt the first blow.

"CONNOR! CONNOR!" Someone was screaming. "CONNOR! CONNOR! CONNOR..."

"Connor? C-Connor are you okay?" Someone was shaking his shoulder. Connor bolted straight up and looked around. It was still dark in the room but he saw the faint silhouette of Evan next to him, trying to wake him up.

"Oh thank god...thank god..." he said when he realized that his nightmare was just that, a nightmare. He broke down, shaking and sweating.

"H-hey what's wrong? Y-you just started writhing around and then y-you hit your head on the wall and..." Connor felt himself being pulled against Evan's chest.

"Evan...Evan..." he desperately sobbed.

"I'm here. I'm here." Evan repeated over and over again, rubbing Connor's back while he cried. He felt so pathetic, but he couldn't stop crying. "It was a d-dream, right?" He asked, and Connor nodded, covering his mouth. "It's okay. You're okay. You're s-safe." Evan said softly, kissing him all over.

"My...my...my dad.." was all Connor could manage.

"He can't h-hurt you. You're s-safe here. I won't let anyone hurt you." Evan said protectively. Connor tried to smile but he couldn't. The dream had felt so real. Memories of his dad beating him and Zoe, calling them names and saying that he hated them came back in sharp fragments. They felt physically painful, as if they were stabbing into his heart. He leaned his head on Evan's shirtless chest and took some deep breaths, grounding himself. Evan rocked him back and forth, playing with his hair and rubbing his back and arms.

"Sorry." Connor whispered to Evan.

"N-no. If I'm n-not allowed to apologize for being an idiot, you're d-definitely not allowed to apologize for things y-you can't control." Evan said kindly but firmly. Connor nodded and pushed himself back under the covers to go back to sleep. This time Evan wrapped his arms around Connor as they lay there together. Evan softly sang to Connor in a beautiful, vibrato-laced voice. Finally, Connor was able to let out a shaky sigh and stopped crying. He closed his eyes and snuggled back into Evan's body and fell asleep. Luckily, this time, he didn't have any dreams.