If I Could Tell Him

Chapter six

CONNOR POV

Connor smiled what he hoped was an encouraging smile as he held out his hand. For a second he panicked. Maybe Evan wouldn't take his hand. Why would he? Connor was a psychotic freak who just scared off a bunch of larger people. He all but died when Evan actually took his outstretched hand. Warm tingles shot up his arm at the boys' touch.

"Th-thanks." Evan was red for some reason. He was probably scared of him. Or worse, hurt.

"Are you okay?" Connor did a visual assessment of Evan. He touched his cast lightly and Evan winced.

"You d-don't have t-to do this." Evan pulled away from Connor's touch, not looking at him.

"I know." Connor said simply, and that's when Evan looked at him. Connor gasped involuntarily. The side of Evan's face, the one that had hit the cement was beginning to swell. His temple was bleeding, and a large bruise was blossoming on his jaw. Most concerning, his pupils were different sizes. "We're going to the hospital. Right now." Connor easily lifted the smaller boy and carried him to his car. He was blinking back tears as he got behind the wheel.

"I don't w-want t-to be a bother I'm s-sorry." Evan struggled to say.

"Why are you apologizing? None of this is your fault. None of it. Those dickheads are the ones to blame. I'm gonna fucking kill them." The shock that someone would actually hurt Evan, gentle, sweet, nervous Evan, was too much for Connor to handle.

"Ohnopleasedonthurtthemimsureitwasamisunderstandingtheydidntmeantoideserveit." Evan said quickly, a look of pure panic on his swollen face. Connor didn't even try to hold back tears now.

"No. You do not deserve it, and this is not a misunderstanding." Connor snapped. "You are an amazing person and it's not fair for people to treat you like this."

"They a-always do." Evan said under his breath, but Connor heard.

"What? How long has this been happening? Have you told anyone?" Connor fired questions at the boy, getting more and more angry. He took his eyes off the road briefly to see Evan crying as well. "Sorry. We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"N-no it's-it's not th-th-that," Evan's adorable stutter was even more noticeable when he was crying.  Connor could tell that he was straining to get words out.

"We'll talk about this later. It's obviously painful for you to speak." Connor put on a brave face, knowing that if he continued crying, he would not only be unable to see the road, but Evan might panic even more. He glanced over at the other boy who was looking out the window. He wished desperately that they could have been here under different circumstances. Evan Hansen was sitting in his car. He was depending on Connor to take him to safety. That alone gave Connor the strength to take a breath and steady his shaking hands. When he finally pulled into the hospital, Evan looked at him like he was the most amazing person on earth. Connor tried to ignore the butterflies as he scooped Evan up and took him inside.

"Oh my god!" A woman with thick blonde hair screamed when she saw Connor and Evan walk through the door.

"M-mom." Evan said weakly. Evan's mother ran over and grabbed her son out of Connor's arms, barely sparing him a glance.

"Oh. My baby. My poor baby." She was fighting tears, Connor could tell. "What did you do to him?" She suddenly shrieked at Connor, fire in her eyes.

"Nothing! I didn't do this!" Yet another person assumed he was a monster. He rubbed his face and took a breath. "I just drove him here."

"He has a concussion. Let's get him a room immediately." A doctor put his arm around Evan's mom and led them through the hospital, leaving Connor behind.

Great. Just great. Connor felt awful for worrying Evan's mother. At least I got him here in time. But what if that wasn't enough? Evan probably blamed him for not getting there sooner. He forced himself to look at the positives. The doctors would know what to do, and Evan would be okay. Probably. Hopefully. And if he isn't it's your fault. The nagging voice was back. He settled into a waiting room chair and prepared himself for a long and worrisome wait.