If I Could Tell Him

Chapter nine

CONNOR POV

Connor pulled up to the orchard in anticipation. He looked nervously over to the smaller boy as he parked and turned off the ignition. Evan's face was in absolute awe. Connor smiled. He suddenly realized that the only times he smiled was when he was around Evan or thinking about Evan or talking about Evan. Evan was the only thing that made him smile.

"It's b-beautiful." Evan's soft voice almost whispered.

"Well then let's go check it out, shall we?" He got out and opened the door for Evan. He jumped out excitedly, looking up at all of the trees.  It was as if he couldn't get enough of it. He suddenly bolted for a clearing, laughing all the way.

"C-c-c-c'mon!" He yelled, waving him over. Connor jogged to catch up with him. The sun was out and warmed his face. There was a light breeze going through his hair. The birds and Evan's laugh were musical, and everything, in that moment, was amazing. He struggled to find the emotion he was feeling. Evan lay on his back in the middle of the clearing. Without thinking, Connor lay next to him. "It's p-perfect."

It was then that he realized how he felt. He felt happy. Happiness threatened to burst from every inch of him. He laughed for no reason. He breathed in and out, just enjoying this beautiful day.

"Why d-did you t-take me here?" Evan asked, turning his head towards Connor.

"Well you love trees, right? I thought this would be a good place." Connor turned his face to look at Evan's and noticed that their noses were hardly an inch away from each other. Connor blushed furiously, but for some reason, Evan did not turn away.

"Connor?" Evan asked, his breath on the other boy's lips.

"Yeah?" Connor tried not to move. He didn't want to scare Evan. He just wanted to stay like this for forever.

"Kiss me." Evan's voice was steady and he didn't stutter. Connor was so close he could see the other boy's freckles. He slowly closed the distance between them. Evan rolled on his side to get closer to Connor, who put an arm around his waist and just held him.

Everything was perfect.

Connor felt Evan smile into the kiss and pull away. He reluctantly loosened his grip and looked into Evan's eyes.

"Was that's okay?" He asked, just above a whisper.

"You have no idea how l-long I've wanted to do that." Evan said, tangling a hand in Connor's long hair. He let out a small chuckle.

"Evan Hansen, you are a very good kisser." He said flirtatiously, causing him to turn pink.

"Y-you too." Evan's breath hitched as Connor went in for another kiss.

"We should do this more often." Connor said once they'd broken apart. Evan nodded enthusiastically, then stopped, seemingly embarrassed by his excitement.

The two boys sat up, watching the sun slowly set.

"We should go before it gets dark." Connor stated.

"Just a lit-little longer? P-please?" Evan asked, leaning his head on Connor's shoulder.

"Okay." Connor said into the other boys wavy hair, lightly kissing the top of his head. That's how they sat until the stars came out and Evan fell asleep in his arms. Connor felt tears of joy prick his eyes as he pulled Evan closer into the warmth of his chest.

He didn't think he'd ever feel this happy.