If I Could Tell Him

Chapter eight

CONNOR POV

Connor thought about the things that had transpired. He was officially friends with Evan Hansen. He almost couldn't believe it. He wished they were more. One step at a time... he thought to himself. But today Evan would finally be back at school. Connor felt almost high with anticipation. He hadn't even smoked anything! The fact that that could happen blew his mind.

"If Connor's not ready I'm leaving without him!" Zoe yelled from downstairs. Cursing himself for being lazy in his bed for far too long, he rolled over and threw on a long sleeved black shirt and dark blue jeans.

"I'm coming!" He called back, struggling to put on his other shoe. He raced down the stairs and uncharacteristically hugged his impatient looking sister.

"Woah how high are you?" She asked. When he grinned and shook his head, she placed a hand on his forehead. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I feel great!" He said honestly. "Let's go. I'll drive." He reached for the keys, but she snatched her hand away.

"Oh hell no. I'm driving. You might be drunk or something." He shrugged and got into the front seat, wishing she wouldn't be so weirded out when he was actually in a good mood. Whatever. Zoe got them to the school safely, and Connor tripped getting out in all his excitement.

"Bye Zo!" He dashed for the school doors and went to his locker, trying to act casual. Evan would be here soon, and sure enough, Evan turned a corner and smiled at him. Evan was smiling at him. He almost couldn't believe it when the beautiful boy jogged over to him and started talking.

"We-we're still f-friends right? You didn't change y-your mind?" Evan asked with poorly concealed anxiety.

"Yeah we're friends." Connor said and caught himself before he sounded too excited. "I mean, if you want." Evan beamed even wider. Connor's knees threatened to buckle beneath him. An awkward silence ensued. Say something goddammit! Connor thought to himself. "Hey want to go somewhere after school? To hang out?" The words were out before he could stop them.

"Y-you mean it?" Evans eyes practically sparkled, and Connor had to look away before he forgot how to speak English.

"Yeah of course!" The bell rang, causing them both to jump. "I'll meet you in the cafeteria after school. We're taking Zoe's car. She won't need it because she has jazz band practice here today."

"Ilovejazzwellnotalljazzbutdefinitleyjazzbandjazz." Evan said quickly, before turning bright red. He smiled weakly and walked away awkwardly.

Connor practically floated through the day, letting snide remarks and threats slide off his back. The end of the day couldn't come soon enough.

EVAN POV

Evan stared at the clock, willing it to go faster. He wanted school to end before Connor had a chance to change is mind about him. As soon as he heard the bell he jumped up and nearly ran to the cafeteria. Connor was there waiting for him, leaning against a trash can, looking impossibly cool. Evan stood still for a moment, admiring the boy. He looked so unbothered. Like nothing in the world could touch him. He was looking at his phone Probably texting someone cooler than me he thought. He shook his head and felt his body moving through the air towards Connor.

"Hey." Connor looked up from his phone. "Ready to go?" He spun the keys on his finger.

"Y-yeah." Evan said shyly.

"Alright. Let's blow this popsicle stand." Connor turned on his heel and started walking, Evan trailing behind.

"W-where are we go-going?" Evan struggled to keep up with the other boy's long legged strides. Connor smiled a half smile that put butterflies in Evan's stomach. It wasn't the fake smile he was used to, or the pity smile he occasionally caught his mom flashing at him. She didn't know that he could tell a pity smile from a real one. The one Connor gave him was real, though. One he couldn't recall seeing on anyone else before.

"I know just the place." Connor opened the passenger door for Evan and waited for him to get in before closing it behind him, and got behind the wheel. "Ready?" Evan nodded excitedly. The other boy's eyes glistened as he started the car.