If I Could Tell Him

Chapter thirty-three

CONNOR POV

Connor was driving home from work,
distracted. He was going to have to tell Evan that he was fired from his job. He still remembered the smug smirk on the customers face when he'd called Connor a "fag," which prompted Connor to punch the man in his dumb, homophobic face. He just knew Evan was going to be disappointed in him. Connor could almost see the crestfallen face of his fiancé. A wave of self hatred broke over him and he grunted in frustration.

Connor pulled up to his and Evan's house, dread filling him with every step. The lights were on and he could hear Evan softly singing. His anxiety momentarily subsided as he listened to the most perfect boy in the world softly vocalizing.

"CONNOR!" The angelic voice suddenly said loudly. The screen door slammed open and Evan ran directly into Connors open arms. Connor's worried expression broke into a wide smile as he held his fiancé tightly.

"Hi baby." He said softly into Evan's soft hair.

"That tickles.." Evan mumbled in response.

"God, it feels good to be home." Connor said, leading Evan inside. "I have something to tell you." He continued nervously. "Maybe you'd better sit down..."

Evan sat on the couch in front of Connor. "Wh-what happened?" Connor immediately cringed on the inside. Evan's stutter was only apparent when he was very anxious. They'd come a long way with that.

"I was..." Connor took in a calming breath. "I was fired." He shoved the ugly words out of his mouth as quickly as he could. He looked up at the ceiling so as to avoid Evan's gaze.

"Oh...oh shit..." Evan said softly, breaking Connor's heart.

"I'm so sorry Ev..." Connor said sincerely. Do not cry, do not cry...he reminded himself.

"It's o-okay..." Evan responded. Obviously it was not okay. "We'll just h-have a smaller wedding...or w-we'll postpone it..." he was obviously trying to work this all out in his head. Connor sat next to Evan on the couch and wrapped his arms around him.

"We'll figure it out. We always do." Connor said in what he hoped was a comforting voice.

"Yeah..." Evan muttered. Connor held him by the shoulders at arms length.

"Hey. I love you. We will get through this." Connor said confidently. He was sure that he would be able to pick up another job somewhere. Evan looked back at him with so much trust and love that he couldn't help but smile.

"Hey Connor?" He asked sweetly.

"Yes, baby?"

"Do you want to adopt a child? We can have a family?" Evan asked hopefully. Immediately Connor began to cry.

"You...you want to have a family? With me? Are you sure?" He asked tearfully.

"If you want. I'd love to." Evan replied, kissing him on the cheek.

"That...god..." Connor was trying to process all of this. He wiped his eyes on his sleeves.

"Wedon'thavetoifyoudon'twantto..." Evan said quickly, recoiling a bit.

"No...no I want to." Connor protested, smiling. "I really, really want to."

"Okay good. Because I already put in an application." Evan replied, crying a bit as well.

"God, I'm so happy right now, Evan..." Connor said, pulling him into a tight embrace. "I'm gonna find a new job. I'm going to support our family. I promise."

"I love you. Also I made dinner so..." Evan looked away shyly.

"Yeah, you made dinner?" Connor asked, surprised. Evan was scared of fire. And knives. And most things needed to cook a meal.

"Decided to face my fears." He said proudly.

"That's my boy." Connor smiled at him in admiration and kissed him softly. "So what's for dinner?"

"I made like a mushroom pasta thing? I don't know. Pinterest said it was good..." Evan answered, blushing lightly.

"Well, if you made it then I'm sure it's amazing." Connor reassured him, leading him into the kitchen by the hand.

Evan had set up two plates with beautiful pasta meals on both. There was a fresh flower centerpiece, marigolds of course, and even candles on the table.

"Oh babe..." Connor breathed, looking at the gorgeous spread. "You did all this for me?"

"Of course I did. I love you and I had too much spare time on my hands because the hospital didn't need me today. Now I know how mom feels." Evan laughed, sparkles in his eyes. Connor looked fondly at his fiancé.

How the hell did I get so lucky? He asked himself, getting lost in Evan's eyes.

"Well, sit down! Tell me how it tastes. And be honest." Evan said with a nervous smile. Connor obeyed and sat down, taking a bite.

"Holy shit Evan! This is fucking amazing!" He said truthfully, eyes wide.

"Really?"

"Yeah really! Oh my god I didn't know I was engaged to a chef!" Connor teased, making Evan blush.

"Thanks Connie." Evan said happily, throwing his arms around Connor and kissing his cheek.

"Seriously is there anything you can't do?" Connor asked in amazement.

"This is why I love you." Evan said.

"Why? Because I'm honest?"

"Because you're kind and caring and loving. I love you."

"I love you more." Connor said, blushing.

"I love you most." Came Evan's response.