If I Could Tell Him

Chapter nineteen

CONNOR POV

Connor let Evan talk him into not killing Thomas and the other boys who made him cry. It took everything in him, but for Evan he would do anything. He made it clear that if this harassment continued, he would take action (Most likely violent action, but he wasn't about to tell Evan that). They came up with a system. If anyone hurt or threatened one of them, they would text a tree emoji (🌳).Connor wanted it to be the weird moon one (🌚), but Evan said that he wouldn't be able to take it seriously. That way, they could get help without having to type out anything too long.

Connor was so glad that it was Friday. Finally, he would get his new shipment of weed. He had cut down on his drug use because Evan made him feel high naturally, but in a better way. He still needed the marijuana for nerves, though. As he walked through the halls to the cafeteria, he spotted Jared leaned against his locker.

"What are you doing, Kleinman?" He asked, a bit suspicious.

"Evan isn't talking to me. Do you know why? Did you, like, hypnotize him or something? Is he under some weird emo spell?" Jared asked, smiling. Sadness flickered in his eyes for a second, so quick that Connor thought he might have imagined it.

Connor mimed thinking sarcastically. "Hmm...what could it be? Oh! Maybe it's because you knew something would happen and you didn't do shit about it. Just a wild guess." Jared winced at Connor's sharp words.

"Oh. Yeah. That." He muttered to himself.

"Yeah. That." Connor repeated angrily, and walked past him.

"Wait." Jared said suddenly, making Connor turn around, raising an eyebrow. "I'm sorry. I know it was fucked up." He removed his glasses and looked down at them.

"Yeah. It sure was. Do you know how much he loved that tree?" Connor asked, and Jared shifted his weight from one leg to the other.

"It's just...never mind." Jared waved Connor away from him.

"No! I'm interested to hear what your fucked up justification for this is." He said snidely, walking back to Jared. He gestured for him to continue.

"Well, I was the only one he spent time with. And then you came along." He said bitterly. "I don't want to hurt Evan, but I won't hesitate to separate you two." He looked up at Connor defiantly. "Eventually he'll get so hurt by all the hate that he'll leave you. I'll do whatever it takes."

Connor was taken aback. "So you did all this?" He asked. Don't kill him, don't kill him... he pictured Evan's face if he found out that he had hurt Jared. It gave him enough strength to restrain himself.

"No! No. But do you really think that Thomas knows where Evan lives? Or about Arnold?" His eyes were almost desperate. "You don't understand..."

"Oh my god. You're in love with him!" Connor accused, stepping back.

"I'm not." Jared said, averting his eyes. Connor walked up to him, so close that his cast was up against Jared's chest, causing him to gasp quietly out of....fear?

"If you come near him again, if you hurt him again, I swear to god I'll tell him everything you just told me." Connor threatened darkly.

"It wasn't supposed to end like this. You weren't supposed to get with him." Jared took a step back.

"Yeah? How was it supposed to end?" Connor growled.