February Night

Chapter 14

Hands were touching her, low voices were whispering into her ear and she could feel hot breath, which smelled a lot like alcohol on her face and her bare shoulders. She tried to push away the body that was way too close to her. But she was too weak. Another pair of hands appeared and when they tried to get rid of her shirt, she opened her mouth and started to scream from the top of her lungs while she kicked and scratched and tried to escape. And then, she opened her eyes, woken up by her own screams.

Just in that second, her bedroom door flew open and Luke stormed inside; only wearing shorts and a shirt. "Lucy!", he exclaimed and hurried to her bed, where she was sitting in now, heavily breathing and trying to calm herself down. "Are you alright? I've heard you scream." Looking concerned, Luke sat down on the edge of her bed and stroked her sweaty cheek. But Lucy just nodded. It wasn't the first time those nightmares were torturing her. And it wasn't the first time Luke stormed into her room in the middle of the night because she'd screamed.

And she said the same she had always said to that question. "Luke, I'm...I'm fine. I can't really remember what I was dreaming about. I only know it was something scary." Lucy forced a smile and leaned back into the pillows. She could see that Luke didn't really believe her. But he didn't keep asking. Instead, he got up again, pressed a kiss to her forehead and then left, wishing her to find some good sleep again soon.

Lucy pulled up the duvet and closed her eyes. She tried as hard as she could, to think about something nice to get the current pictures and thoughts out of her head. When would those nightmares about that February night finally stop? She couldn't bear them anymore. But she also knew that they wouldn't stop for as long as she wouldn't finally speak up to someone. "Ah, I can't", she groaned and rolled over, burying her face in the pillow. Although Lucy knew that it would give her relieve if she'd talked to someone, something held her back. Maybe it was fear. Yes, it had to be fear. Fear, that she might have to go to prison for what she'd done. And that was something she couldn't even think of without feeling sick to her stomach. She rolled on her back once more and stared into the dark while she forced her brain to start thinking about something else. And Spencer popped into her head almost immediately. Spencer with those beautiful brown eyes and that infectious smile she absolutely loved. And eventually, Lucy fell asleep again – this time without frightening nightmares.

~

The next morning, Lucy had hauled herself out of bed and to the bookstore although she still felt death tired. Not even all the coffee in the world will help me today, she thought as she couldn't hold back a yawn anymore. She was at work for not even an hour yet and as it always was in the mornings, there were little to no customers. She wondered why she had even bothered to be here at 8am.

When the doorbell suddenly rang and the door opened, Lucy looked up. And was surprised to see Spencer coming in. "Hey, what are you doing here?"

Spencer held up a cup of to-go coffee and there had a smile crept on his face. "I thought you might want some coffee that you didn't have to make yourself", he said as he placed the cup on the counter. Thankfully, Lucy grabbed it and took a sip; of course, burning her tongue because the beverage was still infernally hot.

"Ouch", she whimpered.

"You look as if you didn't get much sleep last night." It was more of a statement than anything else and Lucy nodded at Spencer's words.

"That's true."

"Why so?"

Lucy fought the urge to bit her bottom lip. If she would have done that, Spencer would have known that something wasn't alright. After all, he was a profiler and she knew how they sometimes couldn't help but profiling everyone.

So, instead Lucy just shrugged. "Sometimes I just have such nights. Nothing bad. I'm sure tonight I'll sleep a lot better." She smiled at him and slowly sat down on the chair. "That's good. Not being able to sleep is mostly caused because of trouble or worries. I hope that's not the case with you." When he shot her another of his gorgeous smiles, Lucy felt her cheeks slightly burn. But she waved his words aside with a gesture.

"I'm alright, no worries", she assured him.

"Okay. I'm sorry, but I'll have to leave now. We have to be at the bureau in half an hour and I'm already running late." He grimaced, what made Lucy laugh.

"I don't want to be the reason why you're late, you better go!", she said with a smirk. "Thanks again for the coffee. I can really need it." She took another sip and waved at the young agent as he left her bookstore.

While Lucy spent her day with rearranging books and figuring out which new publications she would have to order, her thoughts suddenly drifted away to Tessa, her best friend since they had been little girls. Tessa was still living in New York and Lucy felt guilty for having to leave her behind just like that. She had only called her to tell her she'd go to D.C. to be with her brother again, nothing more. And now, Lucy felt like calling Tessa. She wanted to hear her best friend's voice again. She wanted to listen to her jokes and laugh about them. She simply missed her, although her life and her thoughts had been loaded with other stuff. Tessa was still her best friend.

As soon as Lucy had been back home and took a shower in the evening, she settled down on the couch with some Chinese take-out and grabbed her phone. For a moment, she just stared at the display and thought about telling Tessa everything. Her best friend didn't know about the reasons why Lucy had left New York City. Well, no one did. Anyway, she felt the urge to call Tessa and she'd do that now. She dialed her friend's number and while she waited for her to answer the phone, Lucy placed the take-out food from the cardboard boxes on a plate. The living room was filled with a delicious smell almost immediately.

"Lucy?", Tessa's voice was heard through the phone.

"Yeah, Tessa, it's me", Lucy grinned. It felt so good to hear her friend's voice again.

"Oh, my god, finally!", the young woman squealed on the other side of the line. "How dare you to not call me in such a long time?", she complained and Lucy bit her lips.

"Listen, I'm really sorry about that, Tessa", she apologized. "I know I should have taken more time to explain you and say goodbye."

Tessa sighed. "That's true. But I forgive you. How are you doing? How's D.C.? And what about Luke? Man, I haven't seen him in ages!"

Lucy chuckled and told her that everything was good and that she had found a job and was glad to be with Luke again. "Yeah, you two have always been inseparable until he left for the army", Tessa said and Lucy could hear the smile in her voice. Lucy smiled too. But it was a sad smile no one could see. She had thrown away the thought of telling Tessa everything. She just couldn't. And wanted to slap herself for being such a coward, for not coming out with the truth. Instead, Lucy asked Tessa to come and visit her.

A squeal came from the other side of the line, what made Lucy laugh. "Of course, I want to come visit you! It's already been way too long since we've seen each other the last time!", Tessa exclaimed.

"But first let me find my own apartment", Lucy laughed. "There's not enough space for a third person in Luke's apartment." Tessa agreed and told Lucy to tell her as soon as she moved to her own place so they could plan Tessa's visit.

After ending the phone call with her best friend after almost an hour, Lucy continued her dinner and channel-hopped until she stopped at some old Vampire Diaries episode. Although she felt better after talking to her best friend, she didn't feel like looking through the internet for a free apartment. She had planned to do that, but now she just felt way too lazy and tired. Not even all the cups of coffee she had drank throughout the day had woken her up properly and she hoped, this night would be a lot better than the last one.