February Night

Chapter 79

Full of anticipation, Lucy had to hold back a squeal when she saw the huge packages that were stacked next to her desk in the book store. Not long after she and Spencer had come back from their honeymoon, Lucy had decided to start ordering books in other languages. Until now, there had been only English books but she felt like there had to be other ones as well. With Spencer's help, she had ordered books in Russian – only because of her husband who had insisted. Lucy had rolled her eyes and told him that he might be the only person in the whole city that could speak and understand Russian and that she would never get rid of those books. But Spencer had been stubborn. And so, Lucy had ordered a few.

Now the order had finally been delivered and she couldn't wait to unpack all these beauties. Next to the Russian books, there were also some in Spanish; from authors like Paulo Coelho or Carlos Ruiz Zafón, some in French – mostly written by Guillaume Musso – and some in Italian. Lucy was sure that people would love to buy them; especially people who spoke one of those languages as their mother tongue.

She hurriedly texted Spencer that the books had arrived and then made herself a coffee before she started to unpack. This made her really happy and she spent hours with flicking through every book and putting them into shelves that were only meant for those books written in foreign languages. Luke, Matt and Spencer had helped her building them some days ago, which she had been thankful for. She wasn't skilled when it came to building furniture and she didn't have the patience for it.

Spencer came to the bookstore sometime in the afternoon and was obviously excited for the books in Russian. "Oh, wow! I can't wait to read them!", he exclaimed with a huge smile on his face. Lucy laughed.

"Will you buy them from me then? I actually thought I could put them into the bookshelves for people to buy them", she said grinning.

"Well, I would buy them from you, babe", Spencer replied. "And you told me that I'd be the only one reading them anyway." He winked and then came over to wrap his arms around her. "I love you. Thanks for ordering them."

~

The days and weeks passed and Spencer and Lucy both enjoyed their marriage. It wasn't much different from their living together before they got married but sometimes, Lucy looked at her wedding ring and felt that warm love crawling up her chest. She loved Spencer so much and it was a good feeling to know that he belonged to her; that she was his wife and he was her husband.

But as August came closer, Lucy had to think more and more often of Tessa. Her friend's day of death would be here soon for the first time and Lucy had no idea how to deal with this. She kept quiet though, not wanting Spencer to worry about her. He had a lot of work to do lately. So, Lucy tried to work as much as possible as well to not have too much time to think of her best friend. It didn't really help. She couldn't keep her mind busy enough. Instead, Lucy thought about going back to New York City to visit Tessa's grave. She hadn't been there since the funeral and she wanted to see her parents again as well.

"Spencer?", Lucy asked one evening.

"Yeah?"

She snuggled closer to him and wrapped an arm around his torso. "Would you come to New York with me?" Her voice was quiet and Spencer knew that something was wrong. He had sensed it since days but had given Lucy the chance to say something herself instead of forcing her to.

"Of course. Is it because of Tessa?" Spencer hadn't forgotten about his wife's best friend. He had guessed that she was so quiet because Tessa's day of death was coming closer.

Lucy nodded and sighed. "I haven't visited her grave since the funeral. I...I feel like I owe this to her", she tried to explain. But Spencer gently put a finger on her lips. She didn't have to explain. He knew.

"I come with you, no matter what you want to do down there in New York", he promised with a little smile and let a hand run over Lucy's cheek. She leaned in and kissed him.

"Thank you so much. I couldn't do it alone. It's...I miss her so much, no matter how happy I am." She could feel tears filling her eyes and Spencer's thumbs whipped them away when they started to stream down her face.

"I only have to ask Emily if it's okay. But I'm sure she wouldn't say no."

On Tessa's day of death, Lucy and Spencer stepped out of the JFK-Airport in New York. So, here they were. In Lucy's home city. Spencer squeezed Lucy's hand when they were sitting in the back of a cab that would bring them into Manhattan. Lucy was nervous and she couldn't really figure out why. She was in the city she knew best. But her throat was tight, and she felt as if she couldn't make a sound. "You okay?", Spencer quietly asked. Lucy just shrugged and leaned her head against his shoulder. This was harder than she had thought.

The cab stopped in front of Lucy's parents' house and while Spencer paid the driver, Lucy had grabbed her bag and walked towards the front door. Her parents knew that they would come for three days and right after Lucy had rang the bell, the door opened and she got pulled into her mother's arms. "Lucy, my dear!", she exclaimed and kissed her cheeks.

Lucy smiled. "Hi, mom."

"It's so good to see you again, honey." She let go of her daughter and Lucy greeted her father. When Spencer was here as well, they were gathered around the kitchen table, had some coffee and Lucy's parents wanted to know how the honeymoon had been. It was obvious that they tried to distract Lucy from the thoughts about her dead best friend and it even worked at some point. At least a bit. Her thoughts wandered back to Tessa repeatedly. It gave Lucy a headache. In the afternoon, Lucy and Spencer made their way to the cemetery. It was about time to visit Tessa's grave.

"How's your headache?", Spencer asked while they walked through the iron gate of the cemetery.

"It's getting better, I took a pain killer", she quietly replied. She was nervous and the fear, that the grief might hit her hard as soon as she'd stand in front of the grave, didn't make it any better. Spencer wrapped his arm around her shoulder. He always knew when she needed him.

Tessa's grave was full of fresh flowers and candles and it looked beautiful. Lucy slowly put down a red, white, yellow and pink rose before she snuggled back into Spencer's arms and looked down at the last resting place of her friend. A lump formed in her throat and she couldn't hold back the tears anymore. Spencer gently rubbed her back while she cried into his chest. "I miss her so much. We always talked about how we'd be bridesmaids for each other and all these girlie dreams and...they couldn't become true", Lucy sobbed.

"I know, babe", Spencer cooed and pressed a kiss on top of her head. "But I'm sure she was with you in some way during our wedding." Lucy looked up at him.

"Would you give me some minutes alone?"

Spencer nodded and walked towards the exit while Lucy kept standing there in front of the grave, quiet. She didn't know what to say. To lose a friend like she had was something no one could put into words. And Lucy missed Tessa so much, she couldn't put that into words neither. A sudden wave of nausea and dizziness rushed over Lucy while she was standing there and she had to close her eyes and take a few deep breaths to get rid of those feelings again. What the hell was that? Well, she hadn't eaten or drank a lot today. That must it be, she thought. One last look and a quick touch of the gravestone and Lucy went back to Spencer. It was time to get something to eat. And to get distracted.