February Night

Chapter 41

Lucy experienced Tessa's funeral as if she was watching a movie. She felt like she was wrapped in a fluffy cloud and everything around her seemed to be so unreal. The people, the priest that said some moving, lovely words, Tessa's parents that looked so heartbroken that Lucy almost couldn't bear to look at them and even the black dress and the black heels she was wearing felt unreal to her.

A lot of people had come to one of the cemeteries in New York City and as if the weather wanted to suit the funeral, it had been raining since the early morning. It was as if the sky was crying for Tessa as well. While they were standing there, around Tessa's white coffin, Luke was holding a huge umbrella, protecting Lucy, Spencer and himself from the rain. Spencer had wrapped an arm tightly around Lucy, giving her the hold she needed right now. Her fingers were clenched into his coat and Spencer's warmth was somehow consoling to her.

A bit later, after the funeral service, Lucy stood in front of her best friend's parents. And although there was so much she would have liked to say, she just couldn't. There was a lump in her throat that wouldn't want to disappear and she felt tears coming up once again. Damn.

"I'm...I'm so sorry", Lucy eventually chocked out and before she knew it, Mrs. White had thrown her arms around Lucy, sobbing into her shoulder.

"You've always been her best friend, Lucy. She was so happy to have seen you again when she came back from D.C.", she cried. Lucy patted her shoulder as she glanced at Spencer and Luke. They both stood there, not sure what to say or to do. But Lucy let the woman cry and felt her own tears streaming down her face now as well. Mrs. White finally pulled away again. "Thank you for coming", she said and Lucy nodded, squeezing the woman's hands. But then there came the point where Lucy just wanted to leave. She didn't want to stay here for any longer. She couldn't look at the coffin anymore and at the people that were mourning Tessa's death. It hurt too much.

"I wanna go", she murmured as soon as Spencer had pulled her to his side again. She snuggled into his arms as he brought her back to the car.

Not even two hours later the whole BAU team and Lucy were on their way back to D.C. Lucy had said her goodbyes to her parents and had promised to come back to visit them soon.

Now, on the jet, Lucy felt incredibly tired and exhausted. As soon as she sat in one of the seats, she leaned her head against Spencer's shoulder and was asleep before the jet even took off.

"Should I stay with you?", Spencer asked Lucy when they left the jet after landing. She nodded. There was no way she wanted to be alone now. She still hadn't managed to get over Tessa's death and she had no idea how to cope with this. The person she had known almost all her life and have had experienced so much with would never come back again. She wouldn't be able to talk to her again and that fact just broke her heart all over again whenever she thought about it. It would take a lot of time for her to completely get over what had happened.

"Please call if there's something we can do for you", JJ said as she hugged Lucy.

"I will, thank you." Lucy forced a smile before she hugged the rest of the team and thanked them for their work and being there.

Back in her apartment, Lucy crawled on the couch and wrapped herself into the unicorn blanket while Spencer went to make some tea and ordered take-out food. "Thank you so much", Lucy said when he handed her a cup of peppermint tea.

Spencer smiled and sat down right next to her. "Always. How are you feeling?" His eyes examined her in a way that told her that he was worried. She placed a hand on his leg and slightly smiled at him.

"I'll be alright", she said before carefully taking a sip of the hot beverage. "Just stay with me for a few days, okay?", she begged and he nodded.

"Of course." He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him. She leaned against him and sighed.

"You're the best. By the way...what food did you even order?" She looked up and saw him smirk.

"Thai food", he replied and Lucy chuckled. How was it that he could always make her smile, even in her darkest hours?

"Perfect", she then said and while they waited for their food to be delivered, they decided to watch Lord of the Rings. Although she usually didn't like it when Spencer rambled on about a movie while they were watching it, discussing with Spencer about middle earth right now, kept Lucy's mind off any other thoughts she might have had instead.

But at night, she could see Tessa being brutally killed and there was nothing she could do about it. She screamed her friend's name, wanted to warn her but no sound came from her mouth. When she wanted to run, it was as if her feet were stuck in some sticky chewing gum. She could see a man without a face shooting his gun and Tessa falling to the ground, blood everywhere. And then Lucy woke up, covered in cold sweat.

"Hey, babe", Spencer murmured, "it was just a nightmare." He scooted closer and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her to him. She buried her face in his chest.

"I know", Lucy sighed. Of course, she knew it had been just a nightmare. But it still had felt real. Her heart was racing in her chest and it took her some minutes to calm down again. Meanwhile, Spencer was stroking her hair and whispering comforting words into her ear. Soon she drifted away into a much calmer, more peaceful sleep. Spencer just held her in his arms and didn't let go of her for the rest of the night.

The next time Lucy woke up, the sun was already shining through the curtains and she blinked against the sunlight. When she turned around, Spencer was still laying there, sleeping. For a moment, Lucy just watched him and fought the urge to let her fingers run through his messy hair. It was unusual for him to be still asleep and Lucy wondered if he had been awake for hours after she'd fallen back asleep last night.

Now she couldn't resist anymore and first let her fingers run through his hair and then down his cheek. He shifted and slowly opened his eyes. When he saw Lucy next to him, he slightly smiled. "Good morning", Lucy said.

"Good morning." He wrapped his arms around her once again. "How are you feeling?"

"Better."

Spencer's eyes lit up at those words and he pressed a kiss on her lips. "Good."

"Have you been awake almost all night?", Lucy asked him, narrowing her eyes. Spencer looked at her innocently.

"Why you think so?"

"Because you never sleep that long", she explained and glanced at the digital alarm clock on his side of the bed. Spencer turned around to look at it as well and gasped.

"Ten in the morning? Seriously?" He almost jumped out of bed, but Lucy held him back.

"Hey, you don't have to work today, did you forget?" She smirked when she grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled him down to kiss him. "I just want to spend today with you", she murmured against his lips and Spencer just nodded. He would be her distraction today and would do anything to keep her mind off those sad thoughts about her best friend.