Playing With Fire || d.h

26. The First Time I've Kinda Believed

A/N: I want to point out that this week I will be posting a lot more than usual, due to being on Spring break. Please don't get upset if next week, my posting schedule decreases to how it usually is. Thank you 💜

Your POV

We walk back into the apartment, and Phil flicks on the light switch.

"Well, I have to film a video, so I'm gonna go disappear in my room for a few hours," Phil says. "See ya later, gators." He salutes to us, and heads down to his room.

I turn to Dan, and feel incredibly awkward as our eyes meet.

"Um, today was fun," I say pathetically, taking any attempt to shoo the awkward silence that was starting to gather between us. "I feel like we haven't hung out since... forever." I say forever, but we both know 'forever' really implies that day in the kitchen.

"Yeah, I know what you mean," he replies, chuckling. "It's good to have people I can get out of the house with and not instantly want to go back home."

I laugh. "Yeah, I can relate." I look into his crinkled, chocolate-coated eyes, the eyes that tell me to stay forever and run for the hills at the same time. The eyes that are the best thing in my life and also the bane of my existence.

I look at the clock on my phone, which reads 8:46. "Um, I think imma go back to my apartment," I say. "It's getting kinda late, and I'm already pretty exhausted."

"Oh, uh, okay," he replies, crossing his arms across his chest and leaning against the wall. I realize I'm still wearing his jacket, and start pulling it off. However, I hadn't realized that while I was wearing it, the sleeves of my jumper had rolled up a bit, exposing the wraps on my arms. I pull my arms out of his jacket's sleeves, and have a mini heart attack when I see the sterile white gauze. I quickly panic, and pull the sleeves down hurriedly.

However, Dan had already noticed.

"What the bloody hell?" He grabs my wrist forcefully, sending a shock through my arms. I let out a sharp cry of pain, and immense fear and concern becomes etched in his face. I pathetically attempt to pull my arms away, but I don't have the energy to really try, and he holds on tightly. He pulls the sleeves up, raising his eyebrows in horror.

"What is this?" He says quietly. I look up into his blazing eyes, utter a single note, and tears burst from my eyes.

"It's fine, I just..." I mumble pathetically, and it's obvious no one would give in to my BS.

"Why did you do it?" He asks harshly. "Tell me."

"It's nothing!" I nearly shout. "I just had a bad day. I'm over it."

"This isn't just from a bad day!" He yells. I shrink back, his loud voice sending a shiver down my spine. His face morphs into a more sympathetic expression. "You're not okay, let me help you."

"I don't need help!" I snap. "For fucks sake, I'm fine. You have your own problems to deal with, anyway."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Oh, like you don't know!" I holler. "I literally confronted you about drinking 24/7, but you probably don't even remember! And it's not like I haven't noticed you sneaking random girls into the apartment! What I did was a one-time relapse, and I felt like shit afterwards, and it's not gonna happen again, but you just keep drinking and drinking, as a pathetic attempt to forget all of your problems! But guess what? It's only gonna make it worse!" I pant a bit, but Dan is able to retort instantly.

"I'm not drinking to forget about my problems, I'm drinking to forget about you!" The words spill out of his mouth as if he's been holding them in for an eternity. A giant truth bomb has just landed, and it feels as if I've just been hit with a stun gun. Everything goes completely silent, the only sound in the foyer his heavy breathing after yelling.