Playing With Fire || d.h

50. Reassemble

A/N: 50 parts! Over ten thousand reads! Somehow I've been able to post consistently for like three months! Holy shit! Thanks so much! Also, I got so much love in the last chapter, ahh you're all amazing!
(Also that title image is the cutest shit ever like imma cry)

Your POV

"Do you need anything?" Dan asks, a concerned expression on his face. Either a lifetime worth of therapy or a huge-ass blunt, I think. But instead I say,

"Just water and a couple Advil, please," I ask, sitting on the edge of his bed, trying to hide my sudden wince of pain as much as possible. He nods solemnly, and walks out of the bedroom, closing the door behind him. As it clicks shut, anxiety suddenly punches me in the chest, and the next thing I know, I burst into sobs, hyperventilating violently.

Tears shoot down my cheeks like bullets. The entire world is blurred by salty drops, and I force myself to curl into a ball, making myself as small as possible as an attempt to disappear from the world. I pull my sweater over my face as a pathetic attempt to muffle the sobs. I don't want anyone to see me like this.

Suddenly, the bedroom door is pushed open, but luckily Dan's peering at his phone, giving me a chance to pull myself together as much as possible.

"Here ya go." He hands me the water and a couple Advil, and I down them immediately as he places the pill bottle onto the nightstand beside me. After taking the pills, it takes me at least a solid three minutes to lie back down into a somewhat comfortable position. I don't remember what happens after that, as I instantly pass out.

~~~~

The light flows into my room, and it takes me a few seconds of panic before I realize I'm not at PJ's place anymore, but lying right next to a sleeping Dan. Finally safe.

Suddenly, my stomach lets out a monstrous growl. I pull myself out of bed, still wincing to the sore pain in my back. I grab the pill bottle and lukewarm water from the nightstand and instantly down a couple Advil. I stand up, and limp sluggishly into the kitchen.

I see the clock above the oven, which reads 7:43. Why the hell am I up this early? I rummage through the kitchen, finally finding a large tub of chocolate ice cream and a spoon. I sit at the island, scrolling through my phone as I eat the ice cream straight from the tub.

My heart pumps rapidly as I read all the panicked messages on all my social media, everyone wondering where the hell I went, if I'm safe, or even alive. Part of me wants to keep this break from social media just a little bit longer, but I know I can't leave these people worried about me any longer. I write a post for twitter.

Hey, guys, I know it's been awhile, and I'm so sorry you haven't heard from me in such a long time. I promise I'll explain it sometime in the near future, but first I just need a little break to get myself back together, if you know what I mean. I just wanted to let you guys know that I'm safe, and you need not worry. Thanks so much for the understanding. I love you guys, and I'll see you later. 💜

I post it, then exit out of Twitter, not in the mood to see any of the comments or whatever that's going to come out of it. I continue eating the ice cream until I feel slightly nauseas, put it away into the freezer, and walk into the living room, where, to my surprise, I see Phil sitting on the couch, watching some anime I've never seen before.

I'm about to turn around, but he moves his head and looks at me. "Hey, good morning," he yawns, stretching.

"Why are you up this early?" I blurt out, before I can stop myself. His face flashes with confusion for just a second before answering me.

"I, uh, haven't been able to sleep all night," he admits. And now that I'm able to have a good look at him, it's definitely obvious. Dark circles are protruding under his eyes, his fair skin is even whiter than usual, his hair matted as if he hasn't touched it in days.